Monthly Archive

Our calm play was interrupted the other day when my two-year-old daughter began gesturing wildly at a corner in the garage and frantically yelling, “Man!” She was obviously disturbed and frightened.

“Man?” I asked, looking to where she was pointing.

“Man!” she yelled again.

“There’s no man there,” I cajoled. However, the hairs on my arms prickled as she insisted that the presence of a man in our garage was very real.

This was not the first time Bridget has acknowledged an invisible person. Months earlier, we were sitting on the kitchen floor playing a game when Bridget peered over my shoulder and began waving. “Hi,” she said, as if greeting a familiar friend. She then got up and ran into the dining room. “Hi,” she said again, looking at nothing in particular.

Similarly, there was a time Bridget and I were in the backyard playing when, all of a sudden, she burst from my arms and took off along the side of the house. “Hi man!” she called.

No one was outside. The road and yards were deserted. All was quiet. “Where’s the man?” I asked.

“There,” she pointed. “Hi man!”

I have never been inclined to believe in ghosts or anything associated with the supernatural; I am of a scientific mind, and there is very little I take on faith. I want to see it to believe it. But there’s just one nagging little detail that has been slowly chipping away my resistance to accept there is more that surrounds us than what we can actually see.

Long before Bridget was born and when my son was quite small, getting him to sleep at night was difficult. When Jacob was an infant, he required an extremely rigid bedtime routine that consisted of rocking and singing and patting and tiptoeing (curse those squeaky hardwood floors) that took nearly an hour to complete. After Jacob transitioned into a big bed, he insisted either my husband or me lie down with him until he fell asleep.

There were times, when I was in bed with him, that his room felt off to me. It did not feel completely safe, serene, or kid-friendly like my daughter’s room, and I could not quite put my finger on why that was. I secretly chastised myself for being so silly; I never voiced my feelings to my husband, and I certainly did not say anything to my children.

When Jacob was three years old, however, he said something that chilled me to the bone. I was lying in his bed, rubbing his back and gently stroking his hair, when he looked at me and whispered, “Sometimes there’s a person in my room.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Sometimes there’s a person in my room,” he repeated as he pointed to a darkened corner.

I was reminded of a time when I was no older than Jacob was. My mom and dad had gone out for the evening, and the girl across the street had come to baby-sit. No sooner had I been tucked into bed when, appearing in the corner of my room, was what I imagined to be a person. I distinctly remember screaming and high tailing it out of there, so scared was I!

Years later, my father would recount times of feeling a presence in the downstairs bedroom. Whether legitimate or told just to scare us girls, I do not know. One thing is for certain, my father succeeded in provoking a fear so profound that many nights I would lie completely buried under my covers with a pillow cushioned around my head, convinced I was hearing whispered voices and seeing apparitions in the dark. Thanks, dad.

After the obligatory I see dead people my husband suggested that Bridget, perhaps, is creating imaginary friends. Do 25-month-olds have imaginary friends? The times when she sees people are rare, but there is something so intense and precise about her gaze that leaves me wondering if she does, in fact, see someone.

I do not know much about this land on which our house is built, other than the fact that there used to be a railroad that ran through here, about a half-acre up the hill. In fact, we have often hiked the trail the railroad followed (the tracks are no longer there).

Could our “man” be a railroad laborer or a lost passenger?

Likewise, the vineyard a mile from our home sits on ground containing a pre-Civil War cemetery and stagecoach stop. This area is rife with historical significance, so who knows what is lurking out there?

While I am not a firm believer in ghosts, I do not disbelieve.

Summer is quickly coming to an end, which means a decreased production of seasonal crops. Lest you think that gardening is only a warm-weather hobby, read on for ways to make the most out of a winter garden.

Late summer is the time to begin planting winter crops. Warm temperatures now will ensure that plants are strong enough to survive the cold weather. Greens such as spinach, mustard, kale, lettuce, and chard do well under the protection of a cold frame. Similarly, crops like garlic, leeks, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, and carrots make a wonderful addition to any winter garden. Planting these seeds in September will ensure a nice variety in spring.

For those areas in your garden that will not be hosting vegetables, be sure to remove old plant growth and sow cover crops. Planting a cover crop prevents soil erosion and discourages the growth of winter weeds. When cover crops are tilled into the soil in spring, they provide the organic nutrients needed to sustain a summer garden. Choose cover crops according to your gardening zone. In colder climates, rye is a good choice. In the south, choose clover, wheat, rye, or oats.

If you choose not to plant a cover crop, prepare the soil for your summer garden by removing all the old growth and tilling the bed under. Cover the soil with mulch to discourage any weed growth.

Be sure to take the time to note what worked or did not work in your summer garden so that you can better plan for next year’s crops. Likewise, now is the time to organize your gardening area and clean your pots and tools. When you are done being a diligent little ant, all you will have left to do is sit back and wait for the seed catalogues to start arriving by post!

It’s when cookbooks sit on the shelf collecting dust that the freezer becomes stocked full of frozen pizzas and bean burritos. Labels in the pantry start to read “instant” or worse, “high-fructose corn syrup.” But a funny thing happens when you select a forgotten cookbook from a shelf and wipe the neglect from its pages; no longer do you wander market aisles or reach for instant meals-in-a-box. You instead find yourself lingering over the produce, carefully examining and touching and smelling. Shopping becomes less of a chore and more of a sensual experience.

Although my husband and I would find completely eliminating meat from our diet difficult, one of our goals for 2007 was to eat less of it. In 2006 I purchased Vegetarian Times Complete Cookbook , and it’s usually the first book I reach for when planning a meal. I come from a long line of truly inspirational cooks, women who grew up on midwestern farms and prepared meals with what my grandmother still calls “oleo.” Supper consisted of meat and bread and all sorts of fatty goodness. Having spent the majority of my childhood in the south, my mother cooked typical southern cuisine, most of it unhealthy, albeit delicious. We had tubfuls of Crisco in the pantry. Meats were fried and served with large helpings of gravy. 

Today I have the priviledge of being an at-home mom. I have the luxury of time that many working parents and working “people,” in general, do not. I am able to spare a few moments throughout the day to plucking fresh vegetables from the garden, to chopping and dicing, to measuring and stirring. I am not so rushed in the day’s activities that our dinners consist of a barely recognizable food items simply warmed through in the microwave. **If you are a working person who is able to fix fresh, healthy dinners for your family - KUDOS to you for being one of the few!!**

At the beginning of the year, my husband and I watched Super Size Me . The film proved to be a real eye-opener to the deplorable food choices people make and the companies that (surely) must be held partially responsible. If you haven’t seen it, you must, even if only to be entertained for awhile.

The other night I opened my cookbook and made Mountain Stew, an aromatic blend of onions and garlic, tomatoes, green bell peppers, potatoes, cabbage, kidney beans, brown rice, and spices. It sat for six hours in a slow cooker just beckoning to be had. It’s even better the next day after thickening to a stew-like consistency.

My body thanks me.

**edited to add: I’ve received many requests to include the recipe for Mountain Stew. Although I would usually place a link on my site pointing to the recipe online Vegetarian Times, Mountain Stew just wasn’t to be found. While I don’t feel comfortable posting recipes that aren’t my own (for reasons of copyright infringement) I will say that when making a soup, you can’t go wrong. All you have to do is take a little bit of all the above-mentioned ingredients, plus vegetable stock, and leave it in a slow cooker. There you have it!**

With summer quickly coming to an end, now is the time to start thinking about your fine-feathered friends. Make sure they have everything to survive the winter by providing one of the things they will need: a simple feeder of seed. You don’t have to spend a ton of money on an expensive and fancy birdfeeder; in fact, you can make one for free using recycled materials from your home.

Materials:

Clean gallon-sized milk jug

Electric drill

2 bamboo garden stakes, approximately 15 inches each

Scissors

Twine

Seed

Drill a hole into the bottom of each side of a clean gallon-sized milk jug. Additionally, drill two holes at the top of the jug on opposite sides of the container.

Run the garden stakes through the drilled holes, in one side and out the other, so that they intersect in the middle. Leave an equal length exposed on each side. These will be the perches.

Cut a hole on each side of the jug a few inches above the perches.

String twine through the two holes at the top of the jug.

Fill with seed, hang up, and enjoy!

Quick Tip: To prevent critters from getting to the stored seed, seal it inside a metal garbage can.

With the rising awareness of lead-tainted toys, finding reputable retailers who offer safe, age-appropriate products is becoming much more difficult. eBeanstalk.com, founded by Brian Gordon and Patrick Moore, offers high-quality developmental toys to stimulate learning through imaginative play, and the website understands the growing concern for safety and assurance. In an effort to determine how the prevalence of toxic toys influences the buying habits of moms, and to decide how best to assuage consumer fears, eBeanstalk.com surveyed 375 women of young children. Read more about the poll conducted by eBeanstalk.com.

Because you care about the health and well-being of your little one, consider supporting eBeastalk.com in its mission to provide expert-selected toys. eBeanstalk.com not only works closely with its manufacturers to ensure that its toys are safe, it also performs its own lead tests. eBeanstalk.com has taken out all the guesswork about choosing what’s safe; all you have to worry about is choosing what’s fun.

Save 10% on your purchase at eBeanstalk when you use the code WOOLGATHERINGS at checkout.

Up for debate: Homemaking as a major at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Texas, focusing on orientation to homemaking, the value of a child, meal preparation, basics of design, and clothing construction in a Godly way (in a Godly way?). No men allowed.

Is this 1957 or 2007?

This major is purported to have been requested by the wives of seminary students, hence targeting those women whose “calling” is the home.

Sigh.

Where do I even begin?

If there are women of society who feel the need to spend thousands of dollars on courses that “teach” them how to cook a roast or hem a skirt, then who am I to say it’s wrong? I am certainly pro-family, and I believe that anything, even a BA in Homemaking, has to be inherently good.

However, I can’t get past the stench of submissiveness that is the Baptist faith (as I perceive it). The seminary that doesn’t allow it’s female students to pastor but will train them to be better housewives.

Silly me, but I was under the impression that becoming a better housewife and mother was all about on-the-job training and phoning your mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/girlfriend for a little free advice every once in awhile. Instead of learning how to put together a flower arrangement, teach me something useful, like money management. I want to know about investing for the future, because, hey, my man won’t be bringing home the bacon forever! Instead of constructing rompers out of curtains, ala Maria Von Trapp, teach me about conflict management and resolution so I can ensure my children don’t kill each other.

I am a wife and a mother, and I have been since I was 21 years old. To think that one could teach a woman what she needs to know about these institutions in the course of a few semesters is laughable. After 8.5 years, I am still learning! While I support this class, in theory, I have to wonder if this isn’t the Baptist church reaffirming its stance on women that they, in short, belong in the home. And here’s a recipe for a nice apple pie, by the way. Now scoot, sweetie cheeks.

Excuse me while I stick my finger down my throat.

What I really want to know is, why aren’t these wives of seminary students demanding courses for their husbands to teach them how to be better men and fathers? Studies could include, Toddler Tea Parties 101; The Art of Giving Compliments; The Anatomy and Physiology of a Household Appliance; and The Electronic Junkie: How Much is Too Much? Isn’t the role of the father just as important as the role of the mother?

*I am not a particularly “Godly” woman, but I do love my family. I believe in giving of myself to my husband and children 100% . I do not believe I am any less capable of being a good wife and mother simply because my way might be different than a Godly way.*

On the heels of my post about getting picky eaters to eat , I would like to add that you should never underestimate the power of deception. Actually, it’s not so much deception as it is witholding information. Sometimes, you just have to be sneaky. Sometimes, you have to outsmart your picky eater. Rarely am I triumphant.

I recently purchased chewable DHA supplements for children. I was under the impression that these supplements were similar to the gummy vitamins my kids take each morning, but they were like miniature fish-oil capsules. And they are not chewable, despite what the label says. My kids were able to successfully bite into the tiny balls of liquid, but the tough outer lining prevented them from chewing and consuming the entire supplement. My son began gagging, and I knew that I had just wasted $9.99. But then I had the brilliant idea of puncturing the two capsules and emptying their fruit-flavored contents, all of 1/4 tsp., into his berry-flavored juice. I tasted a capsule myself and was pleased that it was not overwhelming in flavor but, indeed, practically lacking in taste altogether.

I handed him his juice. He took a drink. He handed it back.

“What did you put in this?” he asked.

I had violated his trust, and it was a week before he would again drink juice.

***********************************************

Last night, I had the brilliant idea to cook and puree a sweet potato and add it to pancake mix. I concocted the mix in secret, throwing a towel over the mixing bowl each time my son entered the kitchen. I new that if he were aware of what I was doing, he would veto the pancakes on the spot. My son has never before tasted a sweet potato. He is unaware of how delectable they are, and yet he would tell you he hates them. At the last moment, I tossed in some wheat germ for good measure.

I cooked up a pancake and served it to my oldest daughter who was in the loop. “These are the best pancakes ever, Mom!” Convincing. I should give her a dollar for that one.

I cooked up a pancake and served it to my son. I held my breath and watched out of the corner of my eye, lest he catch me watching him; that would surely tip him off to something devious.

No flinching. No crinkled eyebrows. One bite. Two bites. Three. The whole pancake.

Breathe. Sigh. Smile. Small miracle.

Score one for mom.

Sweet Potato Pancakes

2 cups multi-grain pancake mix

1 egg

1/3 cup wheat germ

1 small sweet potato, cooked and pureed

whole milk, mix to desired consistency 

I’m sure you can take it from here . . .

Getting picky eaters to eat is, well, it is difficult. Truly picky eaters rarely can be swayed into eating simply by the rule of influence, and it can take years for a picky eater to touch, much less try, a bite of new food. If you have a child with sensory issues, who would rather go hungry than eat food he perceives to be offensive, mealtime can be a real struggle. Although many parents abhor the idea of becoming a “short-order cook,” ensuring the health and well-being of her child is a parent’s most important responsibility.

Sit down with your child and talk about the foods that he does like. Most likely, you will discover that he is not as picky as you think and his food repertoire includes varied sources of vitamins and nutrients. Make a list of these foods, dividing them into food groups. Post the list to the refrigerator door so it is visible to both you and your child.

Let your child be in charge. When planning your weekly menu, have your child plan his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Explain that he must choose at least one item from each food group. Let him decide occasionally what the family meal will be, and include him in food preparation. Encourage him to touch and smell the food.

Expose him to gardening. You may wonder what gardening has to do with getting a picky eater to eat, but most kids enjoy digging in the dirt and planting seeds. When he is able to tend to the fruits of his labor, your child may be willing to try a new food.

Praise your child verbally when he does try a new food, but don’t use treats as a reward. Doing so may reinforce his inherent idea that new foods are bad foods. Simply state that you are proud of him for tasting a new food and respect his opinions about what has been served.

**While these suggestions will not work for all picky eaters, they have helped make mealtime less stressful in my house. My son has intense sensory issues regarding many food items. The psychological hang-ups he has surrounding food, even those he has never tried, is so great he can become physically ill when trying even a small bite of anything new, as was the case just recently with a bite of watermelon and strawberry. Despite his awareness of how pleasing some foods look and smell, he has a difficult time getting past how they feel in his mouth. The issue is rarely about taste. We never force our son to try a new food. Because his pediatrician is closely monitoring his weight, we do cater to what he will eat. My son is also “brand specific” and will shun familiar foods of a different brand. For example, he will drink only one particular brand of orange juice and eat only one brand of peanut butter.**

For this addition of Craftacular Tuesday, I thought I would step back and instead highlight some very talented women. If you have never clicked on the Support Women Designers page included in my site header, I encourage you to do so. If you are looking for a gift to give, please consider purchasing an item from one (or more) of these designers. Items include handcrafted jewelry, bags and purses, photography and artwork, clothing, tails and tutus, and even a published book.

If you are a woman designer yourself, please read how your site and products can be featured.

Enjoy!

Bridget, who writes for And Miles To Go recently asked this question regarding the results of treating autistic-like tendencies with ADD medications:

“My second son “sits on the fence” of autism. It is very hard because he is not clearly defined (in psychological terms) into any one disorder. Help for him is nearly impossible to obtain due to this factor. He is in a developmental preschool right now and I am hoping that he will grow out of some of his hang-ups. I am interested to find out what exactly the medicine is doing for him (Jacob) in a positive sense because we very much would like to explore that option with our son if it is needed during school attendance. Does it do anything for rigidity in schedule and routines?”

First, I should clarify to those who are unfamiliar with Jacob, like Bridget’s son, mine straddles the autism spectrum, as well. Jacob has been twice evaluated by a pediatrician-referred developmental psychologist (in addition to a speech pathologist, special education teacher, school psychologist, social worker, and nurse) using the Social Communication Questionnaire and the Childhood Autism Rating Scale. Both scores, according to the developmental psychologist, are “close to the cut off” of the autism spectrum. Likewise, she notes that “Jacob continues to have a variety of quirky behaviors and difficulty with flexibility and needs for things to be ‘just so’ that often interferes with his interaction. Jacob does not meet formal criteria for a diagnosis on the autism spectrum but the behaviors continue to be a concern.”

There are a growing number of these children and parents, I feel, who have become caught in the middle. We are not “normal” families, but we cannot benefit from a conclusive diagnosis of Autism, which, for Jacob, would mean formal intervention in the means of school aides and therapy sessions. The best that we can hope for, at this point, is to have faith in a family counselor who can help us manage Jacob’s “quirks.”

For those of us with “straddlers,” we do not wish for our children to be autistic. We waver between being thankful that our children are considered “normal,” albeit high-maintenance, but we are also on the search for definitive answers. Because I am not able to call him autistic, I often wonder if I haven’t made a mountain out of a molehill in regards to Jacob’s behavior. Is it all in my mind? However, I cannot ignore the inescapable gut feeling that something is not quite right and has not been since Jacob was an infant (more specifically, since he was 15 months old).

To help manage Jacob’s impulsiveness and hyperactivity, the psychologist recommended we try him on several medications used to treat ADD. Ritalin was prescribed first and was given to Jacob twice a day in pill form. The downside to these twice-a-day medications, aside from school-aged kids having to take a pill while away from home, is that it creates a roller-coaster effect. Kids are brought down to “normal” but then start to shoot back up once the pill begins to wear off. They then plummet once another pill is taken. Ideally, Ritalin is supposed to last for eight hours. However, in a body such as Jacob’s that metabolizes everything rapidly, the effects of Ritalin were only lasting about two hours per pill.

Metadate was our second medication, and it is one I would not recommend. Unlike Ritalin, Metadate is a much bigger pill to swallow (quite literally), which is difficult for young children who have never had to swallow pills before, even when placed in a spoonful of applesauce or yogurt. Metadate, which is an extended-release stimulant, is given once a day. Unlike Ritalin, which caused an up-and-down effect but without taking away my son’s personality, Metadate, on several occasions, left Jacob catatonic. I quickly ended the medication after Jacob told me he did not like the way it made him feel. Obviously.

Jacob is now taking a 5 mg dose of Adderall once a day, and it has been the best match for us. Adderall allows Jacob the ability to control himself (with constant reminders from us) and takes his activity level down a notch without leaving him devoid of a personality. Adderall comes in capsule form, which can be easily opened and sprinkled on a spoonful of applesauce. I have also yet to see the moodiness that can sometimes occur as a result of the medication wearing off. 

All of these medications require a 30-day assessment not only to check their effectiveness, but to check the patient’s weight loss, as well. Stimulant medications work as an appetite suppressant and for kids like Jacob, who have nary an ounce of fat to spare, even a ½ pound loss in a month shouldn’t be ignored. Jacob’s drink of choice is whole milk mixed with Carnation Instant Breakfast (loaded with sugar, but that’s another post altogether). It’s important to note that all medications are started at the lowest possible dose and can sometimes take weeks, if not months, to get just right.

Because these drugs are controlled substances, you must physically go to the pediatrician’s office each time you need a prescription filled. The pediatrician cannot call the pharmacy for a refill, nor will a health insurance company approve more than a month’s supply of pills. *Bridget, I will add that under no circumstances are you obligated to give your son ADD medication even if you have a prescription to do so. These medications are not like antibiotics, which must be taken entirely. You can stop the medication at any time if, as a parent, you feel the side effects are outweighing any positive outcomes.*

I am reluctant to say that any of these medications have helped with Jacob’s “rigidness.” With almost absolute certainly, I can say they have not. For the first time, however, I feel like I am able to communicate with Jacob; instead of a brick wall separating us, it’s just a heavy curtain. I was able to take Jacob school shopping yesterday with only a few reminders not to run off, topple displays, or climb under clothes racks. *Yes, I understand that this can be “normal” kid behavior, but it can be greatly exaccerbated in “straddlers.”* Also, I can’t emphasize enough how having Jacob in preschool helped. Children like ours crave structure and routine; they are lost without it (hence, why they might run away or climb under a clothes rack). Although I am nervous for him, I feel confident that Jacob will do well in Kindergarten now that he has been in a structured preschool environment, is close to turning six years old, and is doing well on his medication. We have also found a counseling service, covered by health insurance (!!), whose staff will advocate for its patients in the school environment. As always, a parent is her child’s biggest supporter. Our work is never done.

Medication alone is not the answer, although I suspect I don’t have to tell that to Bridget or any other parent whose child takes medication for ADD or to help relieve its symptoms. I would love to hear from other parents with “straddlers” like ours. Do you currently, or have you in the past used these medications, and what have been your opinions?

If you have found this post through a search engine please visit my homepage at http://www.MelissaGarrett.wordpress.com

We’ve lived here five years now, yet come each August, we are caught off guard by the new faces whose Mecca is the life of our small college town. Ithaca blushes with the many shades of white, yellow, and brown, and its hills echo with the collective chatter of twenty-thousand additional voices in tongues, both distant and familiar, whose bodies return for another nine-month foray into college studies.

We tap into our reserves of patience for those unfamiliar with our downtown streets and one-way bridges. We make allowances for foreign license plates as they navigate the roads and travel at perilously slow speeds with signals that prematurely flash left or right. We chuckle as they attack our stores and fill their carts with bottled water and various-flavored sports drinks and everything one might need to survive away from home.

We open our home to them and brush off the welcome mats to our markets and vineyards and orchards . Our creeks bulge with the glistening wet bodies of students as they revel in the waning days of summer in Upstate New York, before the demands of classes and winter leave them hunkered down in isolated silence. 

Yes it’s that time, once again, even for the little ones. My inbox fills with notes from the PTA and unedited newsletter articles waiting for their assigned places. Bus schedules arrive by post, and friends phone each other to announce classroom and teacher assignments. School clothes hang neatly in closets. Pencils lie sharped in boxes. Book bags stand ready by the door.

Just a few weeks to go.

************************

The winner of the homemade cloth lunchbag is Monica from My Journey to Simplicity . Congratulations, Monica! If you would like to claim this lunchbag, simply contact me with your address at igarrett@twcny.rr.com . If you would rather not have the bag, please let me know and I will draw another name

I have a friend whose daughter is eight months older than is my Hannah. Not long after her redheaded beauty turned six, she came to me feeling a wee bit perplexed; she wanted to know where her sweet little girl had gone. Apparently, her ooey-gooey sweet disposition had turned into nothing but sass and attitude. I found my friend’s claims a little difficult to believe, considering her daughter had never been anything but pleasant in my company, and I remember laughing off the conversation with a wave of the hand. Later on, however, I couldn’t help but wonder if I might suffer the same angst with my own offspring.

The answer, of course, was yes. My heart has been wrenched and torn incessantly since the day Hannah blew out those six candles with one big breath. In fact, I am convinced her birthday wish was to find a way to send me to Hell as quickly as possible on a bumpy road paved with tears and strife. Moreover, if I happened to score a few wrinkles and gray hairs along the way, all the better.

Hannah is now eight, and lately my mind has been wandering back to when times with my daughter were uncomplicated. Certainly, she is a fascinating and lovely individual at age eight, all gangly limbs and freckled cheeks and crooked teeth. She is gorgeous on the outside, but more important to me is how beautiful she is on the inside. She is a true friend – never one to judge and always the one to stick up for the underdog.

After reflecting on my feelings, I came to the realization that Hannah is the same wonderful person she has always been despite how she continues to physically change and grow emotionally. Unfortunately, I haven’t been keeping pace. I’ve been stuck in the past, trying to pull the reigns on a little girl who’s not quite so little anymore. As a woman responsible for “growing” another woman, I now understand that it’s not my right to control my daughter and make her bend to my will.
We bring our infants home from the hospital secure in the knowledge that we are the ones in control, the parents who know what’s best. Time goes on, however, and little darling begins to express her likes and dislikes, whether it be for a particular sippy cup or tub toy. She grows a little older yet, and all of a sudden, she’s refusing to wear clothes, preferring, instead, to walk around naked and leave warm puddles throughout the house like an untrained puppy dog. This is hard, you say, to everyone who will listen or to yourself when no one is around. She’s so stubborn. She’s so defiant. Why won’t she just listen?

I have to admit that Hannah was the model child. She was easy on every level, and I can honestly say I can look back on years one through five without any complaints or parental regret. *For those of you rolling your eyes, rest assured that parenthood, in general, hasn’t been a total cakewalk for me. My son was born when Hannah was just twenty-seven months old, and those of you who know what raising a child with behavioral difficulties and autism-like tendencies is like will know that most days are a struggle. Throw into the mix another toddler who is mischief personified, and you have one heck of a party!*

There came a time, however, when I could no longer tell Hannah to do something and expect her to do it without question. This wasn’t just a bit of toddler-defiance; this was full-fledge questioning-of-authority in which I had to justify myself to her. At first, I was taken aback. Imagine, having to answer to a child!

The concept is difficult, especially for a person who craves order and likes to be the one in control. Not too long ago, however, I took a long look at my daughter and realized, perhaps for the first time, that she is a real person and not some miniature caricature of me. The same can be said for all my children, and I feel it’s hardly fair to shackle them with my beliefs and wishes. *over inconsequential matters*

Lest you assume I run a house devoid of discipline, that is hardly the case. I’ve learned, however, that there can be absolutely no control where there is no respect. I’ve realized that it’s not my children who need to learn to respect me, but it’s me who needs to earn their respect.

**The above photo was taken on a day, not too long ago, when I forgot what respect looks like. Being the beautiful person she is, and certainly the more righteous, my daughter left me a peace offering.**

My husband and I just had an interesting conversation in light of the most recent recall of more than 9 million hazardous toys from China. We were talking about how, as consumers, we may be partially to blame.

My husband and I *try* to live by the philosophy of quality vs. quantity, although we are no strangers to appeasing our three children with cheap plastic toys from The Dollar Store when parental judgment lapses momentarily. It’s an inexpensive slice of satisfaction.

As a people, however, we tend to overlook real value and choose what’s cheap. We are bargain shoppers, whether it is for clothes or food or services, yet we expect quality goods at an affordable price. We put the pressure on retailers such as Target and Wal-Mart to sell inexpensive toys for our children and they, in turn, tighten the noose on toy companies to line their store shelves. It’s only logical that Mattel would turn to what’s been called “America’s Toy Chest,” China, to manufacture these “quality” toys at rock-bottom prices.

Mattel, of course, is pointing the finger at China, and rightly so. Mattel claims that a subcontractor with the company that produced the lead-paint tainted toys violated an agreement to use a specific type of paint. Evidently, the subcontractor went out and purchased its own paint for, what I imagine, less money. This latest recall makes the seventh since March 2007.

Not only was our son told that he would have to give up some of his beloved Thomas trains, our daughter has now been asked to hand over her magnetic Polly Pockets, the latest, of which, she received less than a month ago as a birthday gift.

You gotta love China!

Apparently, the problem could worsen as China continues to grow in exports and their safety measures become less stringent as a result.

Less stringent? Aren’t they less stringent now?

Did you know that the United States relies on China to supply about 80% of its toys? Yikes!

I have just one thing to say to China: Thanks, but no thanks. We’ll find our toys elsewhere.

Click here to visit the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission .

My two oldest children will be heading back to school just after Labor Day, and both of them will take a packed lunch. I thought it would be fun to buck the commercial plastic and vinyl lunchbox industry and instead sew them each a homemade cloth lunchbag, instead. And with all the talk lately of lead paint in toys, and all the past hubbub concerning harmful toxins found in lunchboxes, this mama needed a completely safe alternative in which to pack my kids’ food.

At first I thought they might balk at the idea of a cloth lunchbag, afraid their friends might poke fun at something different than Barbie and the latest superhero. Surprisingly, each kid was completely gung-ho about the idea. While my daughter had no specifics in mind, my son’s only request was that I find a fabric with trains (which I did!). I regret that I didn’t complete my son’s lunchbag in time for this edition of Craftacular Tuesday, but it’s next in line on the sewing table.

Pictured below is my daughter’s cloth lunchbag. I was able to use the last bit of fabric I had left from making my art apron, so not a dime was spent on this bag, with the exception of the pink flower button. You can see that this cloth lunchbag is fully lined using a coordinating fabric, and it has a pocket on the side panel just big enough to hold a small can or box of juice. It closes with a bit of hook and loop tape.

This cherry print with coordinating red liner is a cloth lunchbag I made for you. Yes, you! If you would like to be eligible to win this homemade goodie, simply leave a comment until 9 PM Friday, Eastern time. And if you sign the Mr. Linky with the direct URL to a post that features one of your craft projects, you will be entered to win the bag twice. Don’t forget to tell your friends! *Please sign the Mr. Linky only once.* This bag also features the nifty side pocket plus hook and loop tape closure. Pass it on to your daughter, or keep it for yourself. I’m hoping to have a few of these bags available in my etsy shop soon

As a work-at-home mom, my two older children are often left to their own creative devices for two or three hours each morning as I work on articles and upcoming deadlines. I try not to intervene unless I hear a fair amount of screaming and squabbling that doesn’t resolve in an appropriate manner or length of time and, for the most part, my kids are quite adept at amusing themselves alone and with each other.

Lately I have noticed an increase in the number of toys and pieces of jewelry making their way into my freezer, suspended in tiny dishes of frozen liquid. This science experiment has provided an endless amount of amusement, as they then like to hold each frozen item under a trickle of hot water and produce holes and indentations in the ice. Can you remember when you were so easily pleased?

However, their icecapades have taken a backseat to their new fascination: teepees. 

Polly is an outdoorsy type of girl, despite her dress and long, blond highlights. You won’t find her “roughing-it” at those five-star camping resorts, no. Polly fashions her all-natural dwelling using her own two hands and a bit of brawn. And after she’s completed the task (without a man’s intervention, mind you), Polly pulls up a chair and admires her hard work.

What are your kids up to today? 

I was asked to divulge my feelings regarding WordPress vs. Blogger, and now that I have had sufficient time to settle into my new online dwelling, I am happy to oblige.

I hardly chose WordPress on a whim. It was another writer , whose opinion I respect greatly, who first suggested I switch blogging platforms. My first reaction? Oh, the headache! However, WordPress has a feature that allows you to import all your posts and comments from Blogger, easy-peasy, unless you are like me, who chooses to import each post, one at a time, so she can re-edit and re-tweak posts that have already been edited and tweaked. Can I get a Hallelujah from all those other Type-A’s out there? Blogger may very well have a similar feature, but I had no prior need for such a convenience.

I have to admit that WordPress is not as straightforward as Blogger. I hardly consider myself a moron, nor do I consider my many friends who use Blogger to be ninkampoops, either; however, after using WordPress, I have come to regard Blogger as the blogging platform for dummies. That’s not a bad thing. Blogger is so simple to use, it’s brilliant. WordPress, on the other hand, takes a bit of getting used to.

Uploading photos is a bit more complicated on WordPress than Blogger. On both platforms you have to “browse” and “upload” your files. But on WordPress, however, you have to choose between a thumbnail or full page. As you can imagine, the thumbnail is a wee bit too small and the full page is just monstrous. It took me a few tries to realize I could choose the photo option in the post’s toolbar and correct the dimensions. As Homer Simpson would say, Doh! Even resizing your photo can be a little confusing, though, if you don’t know how big the photo should be. And another thing, you only get 50MB of free photo space before you have to buy more. :-0

WordPress doesn’t offer as many cool widgets as Blogger, but this can be both good and bad. It’s good for me, because I can’t clog my site with buttons and badges. Have you noticed how clean and organized things are over here? If you followed me from my old home , you will note that my new place is noticeably clutter-free. Now I imagine that you can add “extras” by fiddling with HTML or CSS or technical mumbo-jumbo , but that stuff is way beyond me; I would have to hunt down some helpful tutorial. But I think too much stuff on the sidebar is distracting anyway, and my goal with this site is to present myself in a more respectable and professional manner for current and potential clients.

Originally I was bummed to find out that WordPress does not allow code blocks for individual etsy stores. My initial reaction was what?! WordPress reasons that it’s for our own protection against spammers. Okay, I can buy that. Read more about that here. But it’s etsy. Etsy. The harmless crafting site. Cute-as-a-button, etsy. Nevermind, I suppose. I’m using WordPress not to promote my own sporadic crafting sprees, but to write thoughtful posts that will have publishers and website developers and product promoters screaming, we have GOT to have that girl writing for us! Still, I wonder how many users decide not to use WordPress simply because they cannot place their store banners on their site?

One way that WordPress trumps Blogger, in my opinion, is the ability to edit the post’s timestamp so that it automatically, yes! automatically, posts at a specified time. For example, I am writing this post on a Friday evening even though it will post on Saturday morning at precisely 7 AM. On Blogger, I would have to manually press the publish button. But on WordPress, I can write my post, edit the timestamp, press “publish,” and the post won’t go live until it’s programmed to. Cool, huh? This is especially nice for those of you who go on vacation (I don’t) and wish to write a week’s worth of posts ahead of time. The benefit is that you won’t have any gaps in your posts, and you won’t lose any precious traffic to your site.

I also like the way WordPress tracks your stats directly from your Dashboard. I’ve been using MyBlogLog to do that, but now I find myself rarely looking at my stats over there (although it’s still good for networking). Speaking of stats, I’ve noticed an increase in visitors since transitioning to WordPress. On my best day, I had 149 visitors. This may sound like a pawltry amount to those in the popular crowd, but I’ve always resided with the geeks. Yes, that was me sitting at the front of the classroom with her hand waving in the air, ala Hermione Granger. I believe J.K. Rowling based Hermione’s character on me (even though she said it was based, in part, on her). 1-4-9 sounds like a pretty good number to me anyway! WordPress also tracks incoming and outgoing links, what your readers are clicking, and your top posts. I don’t know about you, but I am inclined to write about things that are of interest to my readers. Although the topic of beets is pretty darn fascinating to me, my readers seem to prefer how sugar affects behavior .

Because I’ve been adding links to this post, let me point out the fact that Blogger has a knack for messing up the HTML. For instance, if I were to write a post on Blogger that contained too many links, I would be sure to get some sort of error message. I have yet to have that problem with WordPress.

Now I know that I could sit here and compare the pros and cons of both WordPress and Blogger for another hour or so, but I will save PART II for down the road when the novelty of my new home has had a chance to wear off. It’s Friday night, and I’ve got a date on the couch with my husband, watching High Fidelity .

 to be continued . . .

Although my son (soon to be six) has not been clinically diagnosed with autism, the questions surrounding his behavioral disorder have been an issue since he was fifteen months old. To be honest, I like to refrain from using the term “behavioral disorder” as there seem to be negative implications to such a classification. We hear the term “behavioral disorder” and automatically assume the child is mean, bad, or lacking in discipline. We think of those who are disruptive and impulsive and confined to Special Ed in school. Rarely do we think of the highly intelligent, inquisitive, and perceptive children shouldering these labels.

I consider myself a very lucky mother. Although my son’s unique personality is often difficult to manage, he is not altogether unmanageable. He is, for the most part, able to communicate his wants and needs effectively. Still, society’s perceptions of what is normal tend to be somewhat skewed, and my son has suffered for it. He has been the victim of unfair treatment from adults and children alike who either don’t know about his on-the-fence diagnoses** or who lack the understanding of why he behaves the way he behaves. I am not making excuses for him; in fact, he receives no preferential treatment outside of us interacting with him in a different way than our other two, “normal” children.

There are times, however, when I fail to recognize how our situation could be so much worse than it is. Yes, there are limitations as to what we can do as a family, and my son can be extremely rigid in certain aspects of his life; but we are able to cope using learned techniques and past lessons. I forget, sometimes, that there are other children and families struggling harder, and I find myself questioning why we ever decided to have more than one child or why my son just can’t be “normal.” I admit those moments of self-pity are not my finest, and thankfully they rarely ever occur. Still, I find myself longing for what could have been . . .

Bridget, of “And Miles To Go . . .” posted this article on what autism means to her family, as her son suffers from the disorder. She’s also posted a short poem, which so adequately captures how I feel at times.

**My son sits on the edge of the autism spectrum. Although he exhibits many traits associated with Asperger’s Syndrome, his pediatric psychologist has been reluctant to diagnose him as such. She has opted to treat him as having Attention Deficit Disorder and is using medication to control his impulsive tendencies, which is currently working well with no negative side effects. Coincidentally, Asperger’s Syndrome is often misdiagnosed as ADD. In my gut, I don’t feel this diagnoses to be correct.**

I enjoy gardening, and I love choosing unconventional vegetables to plant. Pictured above are Purple Haze carrots, named for their obvious purple-hued skin. I found myself so mesmerized by the first carrots to come from my garden that I couldn’t stop plucking them from the earth. Needless to say, we have been munching on these raw beauties by the *small* bushel. They are crunchy and oh, so sweet! If you would like to try Purple Haze carrots in your garden, you still have time. Carrots love cool weather, and they do well planted late in the summer for a winter crop or in autumn for a spring crop. You can also leave them to winter in your garden by cutting off the green tips and leaving the root. Just be sure to cover them with mulch.

As we are a frugal family of five, dinners are often stretched over multiple days. One night’s simple spaghetti dinner becomes the next night’s Pasta With Garden Vegetables. I simply drizzled olive oil on my pasta and set to warm. I then sauteed a papaya squash, a few pearl onions and purple haze carrots (all from my garden), plus a handful of fresh-off-the-cob, locally grown corn. A little Parmesan cheese completed the dish, which was cheap in price but not lacking in taste.        

 What’s been growing in your garden?

Does sugar intake have a negative effect on a child’s behavior? While some parents say yes, most physicians will agree that there is not enough empirical evidence to suggest that hyperactivity is a result of too much sugar.

Years ago when I first brought to my pediatrician’s attention my son’s unwillingness to eat fruits and vegetables, she suggested I serve him 100% fruit juice. From that moment on, I thought I was off the hook. As my son loved juice already and consumed copious amounts of it, I assumed giving him juice was just as good as handing him a piece of fruit.

But here’s the rub. The USDA recommends that an adult who consumes a healthy two-thousand calorie diet limit his daily intake of sugar to forty grams, the equivalent of ten teaspoons. My son’s 100% juice contains twenty-seven grams of sugar per eight-ounce serving; he’s easily ingesting over sixty grams of sugar per day from juice alone!

My son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder in February 2007 at the age of five. The issue of his autistic tendencies is still up for debate, and there have been no conclusive diagnoses for Asperger’s Syndrome or otherwise. I have always maintained, however, that my son’s behavioral issues are, in part, the result of his poor eating habits.

Like many children, my son eats foods rich in simple sugars: white bread, white flour, pasta, and crackers. Despite the fact that he consumes a lot of sugar, however, my son is quite muscular and lean, and he’s never had a cavity. He’s lucky in that respect, since most children with high-sugar diets are overweight, suffer from diabetes, or have rotting teeth.

But what are the effects of too much sugar on his brain and overall development? As a mother, I expect conclusive answers. Unfortunately, all I can find is contradictory information such as this and this, with respect to hyperactivity in children.

Did you know that polymer clay is not really clay at all? We refer to it as clay in reference to its ability to bend and mold, but polymer clay is actually tiny molecules of plastic that are strung together. When heated, those molecules fuse resulting in a permanent bond that is still somewhat flexible.

Polymer clay offers an endless source of amusement for the insatiable imagination. It is available in many forms, both clay and liquid, and comes in a variety of colors, which can then be mixed together and even painted. You can also purchase tools such as rollers, cutters, and different shaped knives and picks to help you create just about any conceivable project such as jewelry, home décor, buttons, and beads.

Shaping polymer clay is enjoyable for both young and old alike, and it can be especially therapeutic to those suffering decreased fine-motor abilities. It can enhance hand-eye coordination and increase awareness of size, shape, color, and texture. Furthermore, polymer clay can offer a quiet release of negative stress. It is both fun to touch and relaxing to play with.

If you have ever before worked with polymer clay, you will note that, when heated, it emits a distinct chemical odor. Baking polymer clay according to the package directions is important, as burning can release toxic fumes. Likewise, serving liquids and food from dishes made with polymer clay is not advisable; polymer clay contains plasticizers, which are not fit for consumption. Young children should always be supervised when working with polymer clay.

View a comprehensible list of polymer clay projects at HGTV.

If you would like to showcase your creative spirit, please sign the Mr. Linky below with the direct URL to one of your crafting posts. Don’t forget to mention Craftacular Tuesday!!

If you have never considered growing beets in your home garden, then you are missing a truly delicious and nutrient-dense crop. Both the beet’s root and stem can be eaten, and each contains beneficial vitamins and minerals that keep the body healthy and functioning properly.  

Beets belong to the same family as Swiss chard and spinach and while the greens are mildly bitter, they contain more nutrients than their naturally sweet-tasting roots. Unbelievably, beets contain the highest sugar content of all vegetables, yet they are low in calories.

Beets are known to protect the body against several ailments such as colon cancer, stomach cancer, and heart disease. Beets are especially rich in the B-vitamin folate, which prevents against neural tube defects in developing fetuses. Beets are also a good source of iron, fiber, potassium, magnesium, phosphorus, copper, and vitamin C.

Grow beets in early spring and again in late summer as they thrive in cool, sunny weather. Plant seeds in a well-cultivated bed with plenty or organic matter, about an inch deep and an inch apart, in rows spaced twelve inches. Once the seedlings are about five inches high, thin four to six inches apart. Be sure to water beets often during warm weather.

Harvest beets when they are small to medium, about two to three inches in diameter, and when their roots are smooth, firm, and without noticeable bruises. Beet greens can be prepared and eaten like chard and spinach, and they are best when young. Beet roots can be eaten raw, or enjoyed boiled or steamed. As heating reduces the nutrient content of beets, be sure to cook them lightly.

If you have found this post from a search engine, please visit my homepage: http://www.MelissaGarrett.wordpress.com