That Jacob (soon to be six) chose Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham as a bedtime story the other night struck me as a bit ironic, because it followed a dinner that was left untouched. The moral of the story was lost on Jacob, just as I imagined it would be.
For those of you who have been following Jacob’s story from the beginning, I am sure you can empathize with the pain and stress a mother feels when her child simply refuses to eat. To my more recent readers who are not well acquainted with my middle child, he is beyond picky. Nay, he is more seek-medical-treatment picky.
After my most recent consultation with Jacob’s pediatrician, and possibly because of the fervent anxiety in my voice, she wrote an Rx for Occupational Therapy; an actual, written prescription for OT, deliverable to the school district. She feels that, because Jacob cannot be classified as clinically autistic, he may be suffering from Sensory Integration Disorder instead. If his refusal to eat more than a handful of calories a day were not enough to deal with, we are, once again, having battles over clothing.
In the warm summer months, Jacob could often be found playing in our backyard in nothing but his skivvies. We struck a deal that if he wanted to play in the front, he would have to wear a pair of shorts for the obvious reason of learning some measure of social decorum. For the most part, however, we didn’t have to worry about itchy socks, scratchy tags, irritating waistbands, or shoes that don’t bend enough (the newest complaint).
Unbelievably, Jacob complies with most clothing selections I lay out for him each morning. This feat is associated almost completely with the fact that I let him choose which clothes we purchased in the first place. The only dud, so far, has been a pair of “church shoes,” nothing more than a pair of black sneakers, which constrict his toes. It’s not that the shoes are too small; it’s that the toes are constructed of heavy fabric instead of mesh. Of the pair of shoes that he willingly wore, he lost one (still to be found). Thankfully, my daughter’s outgrown sneakers are blue (thank goodness for that anti-pink phase) and are made of mesh. I have no idea what we will do once the winter snows start to fall. Will he or won’t he wear boots? In any event, the first thing Jacob does when he arrives home from school is remove all his clothes.
In respect to Jacob’s issues with food, however, they have only gotten worse. I would love to hug and kiss the makers of Carnation Instant Breakfast, because it is the only thing keeping my son alive right now. Okay, so that may be a slight exaggeration, but it’s not far from the truth. He will barely choke down three bites of Cheerios in the morning before school, giving an insane (to me) reason that it taste like “kitty.” What does kitty taste like, anyway? Apparently, kitty tastes a lot like Cheerios, in case you ever want to know. Jacob has come home from school each day with a full lunchbox. There have even been days he has gone without snack. He does drink his juice box (Mott’s low-sugar 100% juice) and will occasionally eat a package of crackers (Goldfish or Teddy Grahams). Each day I pack a cup of applesauce and a PBJ (two of the foods he used to eat) and each day they come home. Thankfully, he will eat chicken nuggets, fish sticks, or hot dogs for dinner (albeit, only a few bites). Last night was the exception; Jacob ate fish sticks and noodle soup. I almost cried. I had run out of whole milk, however, and he shunned the chocolate milk I made using skim milk. *I don’t normally approve of multiple dinners a week consisting of chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and hot dogs, but the goal right now is just to get him to eat anything.*
Jacob’s kindergarten teacher called Thursday afternoon to talk with me about my concerns, and he informed me that the aide in his classroom is also the aide in the lunchroom. He will have her check on Jacob periodically throughout lunch recess to try to coax him to eat a bit. I am hoping that Jacob will qualify for OT through the school district, as private sessions would be quite costly and, most likely, not covered by health insurance. My husband and I are meeting with a counselor in early October to determine Jacob’s eligibility for services. If anything, I need the counsel just as much as he does. The counseling would provide my husband and me ways in which to cope with not only Jacob’s food issues, but his oppositional behavior and obstinacy, as well.
Having a child who won’t eat fruits and vegetables; foods with bits, pieces, or flecks; or dinners that are too hot or too cold or not the right color is, well, it is frustrating. The other day I wished for a fat child. For once, I wanted to relish a child eating anything and everything and making a real glutton of himself. Silly, I know, as overweight children are on the opposite spectrum of what I am dealing with, a problem in its own right.
We’ve been dealing with this for so very long, however, and I am just tired.

10 comments
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September 15, 2007 at 7:35 am
Robin
You know I understand.
Big hugs…
September 15, 2007 at 8:47 am
Cheryl Chambers
Hi, I got to your post via “mom go green”. I don’t know how old your middle child is, but an effective method of getting “autistic” children to eat is to video tapeing a favorite stuffed animal or toy eating the food of choice. Make it like a puppet show, and allow him to watch. If he is typical of an autistic child, he loves to watch videos and imitates what he sees on TV. You might also try buying a vibrating object made for oral use (don’t laugh, they make them for sensory kids) to use just before eating. It provides proprioception (joint and muscle stimulating ,w which has a calming effect and normalizes sensation). let us know how you make out.
September 15, 2007 at 8:50 am
Cheryl Chambers
sorry about the typos in my previous post, but I can’t get the text to wrap around, and I can’t see what I typed.
September 15, 2007 at 8:55 am
Cheryl Chambers
For the clothing and shoe problem, look google the Wilbarger Deep Pressure and Proprioceptive Technique. (alias Brushing Technique). If you are not eligible for OT, you can do these techniques yourself, if you can connect with an OT to train you. Just don’t brush the belly.
September 15, 2007 at 9:05 am
Cheryl Chambers
To address of social appropriateness, google Sumlin social Stories. This method helps children understand, in concrete terms, what behavior is desirable and appropriate. I like the Sumlin Stories over the Grey Social Stories because they put their personal experiences and the actual written stories up on the internet for you to use, or model from. It is not to “sell” a product. As you will see, this mthod can be used for difficult topics, such as behavior in a supermarket, getting a haircut, “being first in line” at school…just about any behavior which becomes problematic. Good Luck.
September 15, 2007 at 12:13 pm
kristi
Oh geez. I have no right to complain about my
food-throwing toddler now. I’m sorry you’re
going through this. I can only imagine how
frustrating it is. Now, obviously, I’m no
expert (not even close), but maybe take him
shopping with you and pick out foods that look
interesting to him? I apologize if this seems
too ridiculous a suggestion. I just wish there
was an easy solution.
September 15, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Amber
Poor little guy! It is amazing how the simplest things like wearing shorts are huuuuge baby steps in these situations. I will stay tuned on your efforts to get him to eat!
September 15, 2007 at 10:41 pm
longfurk
for the eating problem… it sounded exactly like me. Until I turned 20, jumped on a place across the world all by my lonesome, and something calling ‘emotional eating’ kicked it. Since then, nothing goes uneaten. Perhaps you need to terrify him somehow and then give him odd food?! Silly suggestion, I know. But maybe one day it will just click for him.
September 17, 2007 at 1:04 am
Michelle at Scribbit
Wow that would be frustrating–my husband is picky but I can’t really compare him to Jacob in that way and can’t imagine how hard that must be!
September 17, 2007 at 8:03 am
Jen
My son has glimpses of this…well really…he hates lotion, going from short to long sleeves, anything that rubs his neck, tags…the list goes on and on. I have a neighbor who has a child very similar to Jacob, in every aspect of the word and she got her son involved in a program to work on the sensory issues and he did well. But it is true that we as parents need the support as much as the child. Hugs my friend, you are doing a great job.