Since moving my blog to WordPress in August 2007, I have had no regrets. Okay, that’s not entirely true; I have had almost no regrets. For those who aren’t aware, I used to write at a Blogspot blog called Little Woolgatherings. In case you were wondering what a woolgathering is, it’s nothing more than a daydream, an idle fancy. I have many daydreams, many woolgatherings that essentially get me through each day. Whether I am fantasizing about a clean house or children who behave, always eat their vegetables, and never fight, it’s a little slice of hope on which to hang.
Little Woolgatherings was a full-fledged “mommy blog,” although you wouldn’t know it by looking at it now. The site is abandoned, simply a skeleton of what it used to be. Most posts have been imbedded in the privacy of my own memory and deleted from public scrutiny while others have been transferred over to this site. Others hang in limbo, awaiting their fate. One of these days, Little Woolgatherings will be nothing more than a one-post site directing readers here.
Little Woolgatherings gained in popularity and, unbelievably, earned a triple-digit authority on Technocrati and a ranking of just under 33K - not too bad for a site less than six months old. Then something started to happen which caught me off guard completely; I began to receive solicitations in my inbox to write product reviews. How fun, I thought. Why not? The requests came faster than I could handle, and I turned down quite a few because they weren’t quite right with my blog or audience.
I then had this crazy idea I would charge a small fee to review sites and products. Believe me, it wasn’t as easy decision. Who am I, I wondered, to ask for monetary compensation? I justified it with the thinking that they were the ones soliciting me. They were the ones requesting a service outside of my normal day’s work. I had always wanted to write, always, even as a little girl, so I took it as a sign that I needed to begin anew with a fresh idea.
That’s how this site was born, out of a need to branch out into the professional world while retaining some of the personal details that make a blog so much fun to read. However, I paid a price.
I lost my Technorati authority.
I lost my Technorati rank.
I lost my status on Google.
I had to start from scratch.
In addition, while most of you made the transition with me, I lost the support of some. I often hear, I miss all the pictures or I miss the stories about your kids. Friends, there is a reason I no longer include many photographs or detailed stories about my family. I live in a small town and my husband works for a major university. I need to feel secure that what I write will in no way reflect poorly upon my husband, my kids, or myself. I hope to one day establish myself as a respectable freelance writer, and I can’t do that (in my opinion) if I am writing about (insert specific incidents that might embarrass certain members of this family). I would love to be one of those bold woman-writers whose uncensored defamatory stories of her in-laws or intimate details of her sex life earns her thousands of hits each day, but that’s just not me. For one, I consider my in-laws near perfection. Additionally, my sex life can hardly be called a sex life. It’s more like, let me pencil you in on the calendar.
I am modest, if not a bit repressed.
Recently, a real-life friend said to me that she no longer reads my blog. She reads this one on a daily basis, thanks to my recommendation, but she no longer reads mine. Her words stung, to say the least, and I have been dwelling on them ever since. Am I really that boring? Is a “mommy blog” only exciting if the writer talks about her husband’s vasectomy or her children puking in the middle of the night? Do you really want to hear me whine about how tired/broke/out of shape I am? Do I have to divulge every detail of our struggles as parents to a high-maintenance child, how I screamed at my husband for the first time in almost nine years because he pissed me off in a most brutal way? I don’t want this site to be remembered for the insipid events of my daily life. I get up and make coffee and shower, in that order. I get my kids ready for school and put them on the school bus. I clean, write articles, play with my toddler, clean, write articles, play with my toddler, clean, write articles, play with my toddler. I help with homework and wipe the tears of a third-grader who thinks she is stupid for needing a math tutor. I change poop-filled diapers. I quiet a kid who thinks that every injustice in the world is directed at him.
My life is hardly unique.
I want this site to relate useful information, not just amusing anecdotes. I want this site to serve as a public forum in which I am held accountable for my actions. I want this site to be the basis of a writing career that I hope will be long and prosperous.
There is one more thing worth mentioning. I once considered myself lucky to be wooed by companies eager for me to review their sites and products. We came across Little Woolgatherings, they would say, and we love your writing style! Please review this for us! Happily, I believed them. However, when I started to receive the same emails regarding Little Woolgatherings even though it’s been ages since I’ve written there and the site is in disarray, I knew something was up. I would send a polite response, directing them to the page outlining my terms of service. Oh, they would say. Oh, is all they ever say, as the shock of a blogger asking to be compensated leaves them floundering for words.
What’s even more upsetting is what happens when those for whom I have already written free reviews and promotions request my services again. I send out my obligatory polite response directing them to my terms, explaining that I now charge a nominal fee for my time and effort. And then . . . quiet. No response.
A company so eager to work with me again no longer has the time for a writer who (gasp!) actually charges. Free products are fine, yes. However, I also have a real job in addition to my responsibilities as a mother. My time is valuable. Without it, I cannot do my paid writing.
A writer who cannot work is a writer who cannot be paid.
And a writer who cannot be paid is a writer who cannot afford a winter coat for her toddler when it’s 27 degrees outside.
(don’t worry ~ Bridget is now the proud owner of one very hot pink coat)
(thanks to those who pay me to write)
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Who would like to contribute an Up For Debate article this week? Send me your submission by Thursday at 7PM, eastern.

22 comments
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October 31, 2007 at 3:59 am
Zoe
oh sweetie, you sound like you’re in a right old dilemma. I’ve been toying with moving to blogger (it’s free!). But those concerns have been niggling in my head. Would people come with me? I’m not sure. And I think you should stick to exactly what you want to write about, it’s your blog and you don’t have to write anything you don’t want to. I love reading and your not boring. so there! Hugs x
ps: Little B is a very lucky girl to have a new hot pink coat!
October 31, 2007 at 4:53 am
Robin
Well obviously I made the move and stuck around ;-). This blog is of necessity more impersonal, but there is nothing wrong with that. This is a business for you, not just a coffee klatch with a few friends. I think you’re doing just fine balancing the personal with the public, but more importantly, YOU have to be ok with the balance you’ve struck. You’re a GOOD writer Melissa. Write from the heart and the work will follow. I believe that, and I believe in you.
October 31, 2007 at 6:46 am
Kim
It’s funny. Not too long ago, I posted a blog from the opposite perspective. I was tired of people soliciting my samples for a free review. It was fine in the beginning, but to be honest, I would rather pay for a review than to invest my time and materials. It’s hard to explain without offending some, but I’ll pay money anyday.
Your blog is your business and you have the right to run it any ol’ way you want. I’ll admit, I miss the stories too, but I still enjoy reading your blog…it’s educational and inspirational. Keep it up!
October 31, 2007 at 8:48 am
Debi
I admit it…I miss your old blog. But I love your new blog, too! But you know what, your blog is not about “me”. It’s YOUR blog! I wouldn’t worry about keeping readers happy…you’ll never, ever keep everyone happy. It’s seems to me you’ve made very appropriate decisions about what you need this blog to contain to fulfill its mission. If your audience changes a bit, maybe it’s not such a bad thing, right? And I love that I get to learn more about you and your sweet gang when you leave comments at my blog. So your blog has changed…that’s how life goes, right?
October 31, 2007 at 9:39 am
Becca
Oy, Melissa, I am one who misses your old posting. And puh-leaze! It was the Sew Green Blog that started you. Despise not the day of small beginnings!!
It’s not the gory details of your personal life–rather your personality that is sometimes missed.
I link my blog to my church’s mychurch.org website, so I sometimes have to think about what I’m going to post as well!
October 31, 2007 at 10:16 am
Gnorb
Let me start by saying that this is probably one of the best posts you’ve ever done. And yes, I, too, have felt the sting of someone telling me “I don’t read your blog anymore.” Actually, it’s usually “Oh, I forgot you had a blog.” Maybe I should start wearing shirts with the URL printed on the front.
Hey, wait a minute…
But nevermind, that’s not the point of my comment.
Regarding Technorati: Don’t worry about them. Seriously, don’t. Most blogs don’t pay attention to them anymore because their system is pretty much outdated. Mid you, if you got a lot of traffic from there that’s one thing, but for the most part… *blah* Frankly, I’ve never much paid attention to it.
Regarding Google: That’s a bit more tricky. Mayhaps you should take a look at SEO? At the very least, your PR is actually higher here than it ever was on Blogger (you were a 3 if I recall correctly. Here you’re at a PR of 4. Not that that matters much either, but it helps). Of course, it doesn’t help that Blogger is OWNED by Google, which means they’ll pick it up more. However, have you considered other search engines, too? Yahoo, for example, I get a number of hits from. MSN — not so much. (I will admit, Google is where the bulk of my traffic comes from.)
What you may want to try is working with blogger groups. I’ll tell you, since I joined 9Rules my RSS readership has tripled. There are other groups out there as well.
By the way, can you do re-directs on blogger? That might help both your rankings and your readers.
Now, as for getting paid: Free labor is worth exactly what you pay for it. While I’m not opposed to working for free stuff, I fully understand that this is your business, and you’ll run it as you see fit. You should. And if your TOS says “Hey, if you want me to review something, pay me,” stick to your guns and go at it that way. However, what does your market research say about your rates?
By the way, you do realize that most of the big bloggers have multiple blogs, most of which DON’T have a thing to do with quality content, right? Just thought I’d throw that out there. Check out Webmaster’s World for more info. SEOChat is also fairly good, even though that site owner and I have some seriously bad blood between us. (Also, they run 4x more ads than content on that page. Use your Adblock!)
One thing I’ll tell you is this: gather your numbers. Improve your PR ranking (you do this by getting links and working out link partnerships), improve your Alexa rankings (right now you’re sitting at 1,161,073, a number that NEEDS to be improved if you want commercial viability) and get hard numbers on your individual readers and RSS readers (I believe WordPress.com has that type of functionality.)
The fact is that you don’t have to change much about your style to succeed in what you’ve done. Your content is good, you’re interesting, you’re obviously intelligent, and more than anything, you’re real. And you don’t NEED to be “more real” by writing about the fights, or the sex life, or the kids’ medical issues. Only think you need is a strategy for increasing your exposure.
Here’s a suggestion: Go out to local business owners who have an internet presence and offer to advertise for them on your blog for a nominal fee. A post and a link, for example. You can start the process by doing pay-per-posts (you’ve tried those, no?) and seeing if you can integrate Text Link Ads to your theme here. (I can help you out with that if you need, though my knowledge is fairly limited.)
The point is that your content is fine. It’s fairly focused. It’s perfectly thematic. Now you just need to work on marketing, including SEO and pounding the pavement.
Good luck, and sorry if I seem to ramble.
October 31, 2007 at 11:08 am
Stephanie
Thanks for posting about your blogging journey. At first, I missed your old site, but now I really appreciate the professionalism of this one. Your writing style and quality is the same (still excellent) and your personality still shines through. I’m sure you’ll grow a slow and steady following once again.
P.S. Charging for product reviews is a bold move since many bloggers would LOVE the opportunity to receive free products in exchange for a review…
October 31, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Corey
awww…hugs for you. I don’t think you are boring, but I didn’t know you “before” either. tee hee
I am enjoying getting to know you.
I do think it is hard when you shift focus, and some just don’t follow along. I think it must have been hurtful to hear your friend say those words.
I try to live such that I understand that not everyone is going to like me….not everyone is going to “get it” but that is okay.
I think YOU are okay.
October 31, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Sonya
I do miss your old blog but I followed you to your new blog. I check into your blog almost daily. It’s your blog, you can do whatever you want with it. I am so proud of you on ways to promote your blog, your writing and your work. You are quite an inspiration. You absolutely need to get pay for reviewing people’s products and site. Still love you and your writing. Keep up the good work.
xoxo
Sonya
October 31, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Mary Beth
I think what happened is people, myself included were dwawn in with your writing style and the content. We all like to feel we are not alone in struggling with finances, keeping the marriage alive and raising kids, especially a challenging kid! I read you blog and find it thought provoking but your other blog was just as thought provoking. And dare I say, it made me feel a sort of internet kinship with you as I have a child with ADD also (and a daughter named Bridget!!!). After all many blogs are like reality TV and we get hooked. You have to do what you think is right for you and your family. I wish you all the best!! and keep writing, it is still great!!
October 31, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Mary Beth
Sorry for all my spelling errors, I worked the night shift last night and I am dog tired!!
October 31, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Tiffany
I enjoy the mommy blogs but I also understand why you changed the format of your blog. Other mommy blogs who want to be a writer also deal with what you are dealing with. Also, you are a working stay at home mom who should be compensated for your time so therefore you should be paid for your reviews. Keep your blog the way you have it and I love your up for debate - it has introduced me to other blogs that I now enjoy reading. I just have to get my act together and submit something for it.
October 31, 2007 at 3:14 pm
kristi
I wasn’t familiar with your old blog, but I have to say that I love this one. In fact, yours is the first I read every day, even if I’m not able to comment until much later on. Don’t second-guess yourself. You are smart
and talented and your readers appreciate you.
October 31, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Megan
Well, for what it’s worth, I have found your transition to more professional site to be very organic and smooth. You had been sharing with us for weeks (months?) before the move that this was the direction you were heading. To me, the whole transition made total sense.
Thanks for taking the time to share this, although to me, no explanation was needed!
October 31, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Jen
Oh poop! I am a huge fan and supporter. I need to pay you for your time. You’ve been such a great person to work with and I hope to use you more often. I’ve just been out of it with sick children lately…don’t fret about stuff. It always works out…
October 31, 2007 at 4:06 pm
stacy
Sorry to hear you are disheartened. As a gal who doesn’t even know what technorati is???, and doesn’t really pay attention to stats for any reason other than detecting stalkers…
I hope for you that your blog does - what YOU need it to. If it doesn’t, then that’s really the only reason I’d see for making a change… 
October 31, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Michelle at Scribbit
This is so interesting, I’ve been in a blogging funk lately, have had a hard time getting up the interest in keeping the whole thing going.
And incidentally, I completely agree with your decision not to talk about things that should remain private.
October 31, 2007 at 11:24 pm
mandy
I hope I don’t offend anyone by saying this (especially since I talk about my children all the time on my blog.) I don’t really like mommy blogs all that much. I don’t have time enough to write on my own blog let alone read about someone elses life and family who I don’t even know. I didn’t mean that to sound mean it’s just the truth.
For some reason I got hooked on your blog and really it’s still the only one that I read on a regular basis. I love hearing about your kids, but I also love your transition and what you are doing now. I admire you for what you are doing. Heck yes, you should be charging people for your time!
Seriously, I only know 2 of my friends who actually read my blog.
God Bless You!
November 1, 2007 at 1:10 am
Book It Thursday ~ Week One « Melissa Garrett ~ a writer’s woolgatherings
[...] – I want to say Thank You for the kind comments regarding this post. The subject is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind lately, and it was just one of [...]
November 1, 2007 at 9:07 am
wesleyjeanne
Melissa,
I followed you! And I recognize the need you have for a more professional style to your blog.
I do miss–a little bit–the old blog and the personal sutff. I don’t think you need to write about your sex life or your in-laws or go into groy detail on bowel movements as some of the professional bloggers do in order to be popular. I think being genuine–meaning genuinely you–is most important. I struggle with the balance of how to keep from getting to personal, too whiny, too mommyish in my blog, but the purpose of my blog is self-expression. The purpose of your blog is to establish yourself professionally, so the change is wholly appropraite.
In the end, as everyone else has said here: it’s your blog, it’s your mission, and it must be what you want it to be.
November 1, 2007 at 9:08 am
wesleyjeanne
Forgive the typos above–my mind was moving faster than my fingers.
November 2, 2007 at 12:20 pm
BOSSY
Yikes! Your tale sure sounds like the nightmare Bossy will have tonight.