I pared down my Google Reader from 100 subscriptions to 85, and yet I still had close to 150 feeds left unread. And I suddenly realized how ridiculous all of this is; blogging, I mean. Why does it feel like a job? It’s no longer a fun obsession for me; blogging has become an obligation. And I have to be honest, there’s a big part of me who just wants to chuck the whole thing and wash my hands of blogging forever. I spend too much time blogging when I should be writing query letters and working on my little book project.
Will I really give it up, though? Probably not. At least not for awhile.
This blog is like my waiting room to the professional world. I know I have somewhere to be, and yet I’m not sure to where I’m heading.
Honestly? I’m feeling burnt out. I’m tired. And I don’t know if this exhaustion is just a result of having had horrible sleep these past few nights with Bridget being sick (up three times for water, once for Gatorade, twice to tickle her back, too many times for the boob, tossing and turning) or if it’s because I feel like I’m trying to do too much.
I love my writing, but I am not currently doing the type of writing I would like to do because other things are getting in the way, namely blogging. However, I feel like I have much to say. To give up this outlet would be silly, wouldn’t it? On the other hand, I feel like blogging was my crutch during a time when I just needed to talk and have someone “listen.” But I feel like I’m growing up a bit, I’m becoming more self-assured, like I’m outgrowing blogging. Still, I can’t imagine leaving . . .
So maybe my relationship with blogging just needs to be different. But different how?
I need a few days to gather my thoughts . . . .
20 comments
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March 14, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Debi
All I can say, sweetie, is take all the time you need to figure out what it is that you need. I would miss you dearly if you stopped blogging. But if you decided that’s what’s best for you, I would be happy knowing you made a decision that fits your life now. Good luck, Melissa!
…Besides, I’ve got your e-mail, so you couldn’t get rid of me that easily
March 14, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Toia
I am so sorry to here that. One thing you have to realize when blogging, you have to write or do what makes you happy. When you feel like you have to be obligated or please others, your passion dies. It’s no longer any fun.
Blog what makes you happy. Don’t feel like you have to blog everyday, if it’s not feasible to your schedule. Yes, a lot of people love to read and visit your blog (including me), but it’s not about us. It’s about you. We understand more than you think.
So, take this time and pray. Try to allow God to lead you in the right direction. If that means you have to take a sabbatical from blogging, so be it. Please know we will miss you.
I will leave you with two scriptures, hopefully they will encourage you.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9)
March 14, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Megan@SortaCrunchy
Girl, I am TOTALLY feeling you on this. My husband even suggested to me that perhaps I am not getting ANY writing done right now because my (very tiny little) free time goes into blogging. Not even so much writing on my own blog, just this crazy, guilt-ridden obligation to read other blogs. I find I don’t even make time to read what I really want to read. I’ll stop now because you didn’t ask for an open confessional, but I want you to know I am right. there. with. ya.
March 14, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Kim Pickett
OMG, Melissa! I hit that point a few months ago and have yet to really back into it full speed. So much has changed since I first started blogging, as you know, that I just don’t have the time. I have 10 minutes in the morning to post if I’m lucky and reading others’ postings happens while I’m letting the dogs out or waiting for the noodles to be al dente.
I miss all the people that use to visit my blog, but since I’ve stopped blogging as much, I don’t feel the pressure to stay on top of the blogosphere. It’s ok to clear your Google Reader. I’ve had to do it many times and in a way, it’s quite liberating.
Do what’s best for you!! But what ever you decide…don’t forget to stop by in KC this summer. I’d LOVE to see ya!!
March 14, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Becca
I think that’s just it. You need a few days or weeks or months. I just got reacquainted with Katie’s blog today and was thinking about two years ago when we were all just kind of starting out. Remember the Sew Green Blog? I can really say I knew you when! It’s just seasons, I think…
March 15, 2008 at 1:31 am
Shellie
There’s no obligation to blog more than you want to. Pare it down to doing what you want, when you want. That’s the fun of it. It’s called BWO- Blogging Without Obligation.
March 15, 2008 at 2:52 am
Corey
oh man….I am sort of in the same boat. I have like over 100 blogs in my reader…and I care about each one. I am in love with the opportunities blogging has brought to my life….BUT….more and more….I don’t have time for the other things I love. sigh…..
March 15, 2008 at 5:04 am
Robin
((hug))
It needs to be fun. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to do a hobby, and that is what blogging really is for most of us - a hobby, or at most a minor economic sideline.
You are under no obligation to read a certain number of other blogs, certainly not to comment on them. Stick to the ones you really enjoy and prune the rest. I just pared down my own reader and it feels surprisingly liberating.
And at the risk of opening a can of worms, is it possible that your desire to make this site ultra-professional rather than just a personal blog is making things too hard on you? You’ve imposed a very rigorous blogging schedule on yourself, and with that come a commensurate amount of work. That can’t help but take a lot of the joy out of it. Your blog won’t be any less “professional” if you decide to blog less often, or even dare I say without a schedule.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is what’s good for YOU and for your family.
((hug))
March 15, 2008 at 8:16 am
Melissa Garrett
Thanks everyone. I truly appreciate your comments, and I will think about everything you have said. I am going out by myself today, which is rare, to work on my queries and my book, to do a little shopping, and just to think. I know I don’t want to leave blogging altogether. I love the friendships I’ve made, and I would be sorry to go and lose touch. Robin, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I’m very bad about imposing rules on myself and then I feel like a failure if I have a hard time following them. I keep thinking about how it’s close to gardening time, which will consume A LOT of my extra energy. I want to get my kids really involved with that and be outdoors as much as possible. The time spent in front of the computer, therefore, needs to be for my paying job(s). However, I *love* writing the endorsements and profiles. But . . . .
Okay, so I will write a post about all of this soon. I am coming back to do a Good News Sunday post, as those are some of my favorites.
Hugs to all of you!
March 15, 2008 at 9:16 am
Rebecca
I understand. I feel this way sometimes, too. And I have a teeny tiny little blog. It’s so hard to respond to comments, make reciprocal visits, etc. Sometimes it just doesn’t get done. It’s hard to let it go. But I need to.
I’ve been reading your blog for just a week now, but I enjoy my time here. I hope you’ll take the time you need and blog only when you want. I’d miss you.
Hang in there. Enjoy your day, and I look forward to your Good News Sunday post.
March 15, 2008 at 10:08 am
Fagan
You never know what something is going to end up. Most truly great things evolve into greatness. I never expected to find myself doing what I do, I started this business with a completely different vision. The flexibility needed to allow yourself to flow with the changes that will come with any business or endeavor is not easy for people like yourself who feel compelled to be disciplined. If you are honest with yourself about what YOU want out of blogging and then do that, it will all work out. It may not be what you initially envisioned, but it will still be something great. Enjoy your day, kiss the babies for me and smile!
March 15, 2008 at 12:19 pm
gary
well, good luck with whatever you do now or in the future, but you will be missed!
March 15, 2008 at 1:13 pm
kristi
I have similar feelings about blogging. I read far fewer blogs than you do, and I post about half as many times a week as you do, and yet I still feel that it takes time away from other things I need to do. That said, I know I couldn’t give it up. Maybe you could scale down the frequency of your posts to free up some time?
March 15, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Stephanie
Lis, blogging can be the ultimate time-eater, but it can also open up many doors of opportunity. For me, the return-on-investment has been very high, but I understand if your journey takes you elsewhere- away from the blogosphere. You have to do what’s right for your career, your family, and yourself.
March 16, 2008 at 8:48 am
Sally@Naked-Jewelry
Lis-I am very new to blogging as well as reading other blogs so I can only come at it from a fresh perspective. I’ve already got about 50 blogs in my Google Reader and I have to say…and this really makes no sense since my child is grown and I am considerably older than you…that I enjoy your blog more than any other. So, you need to know that your writing talent shines through. It’s possible that the daily “obligation” keeps your writing skills sharp, even though there may be no clear financial point to it.
Best of success with the direction this goes in!
March 16, 2008 at 8:50 am
Debbie Yost
Just don’t get the flu as an excuse to take a break. I don’t wish that on my worst enemy! Good luck.
March 17, 2008 at 9:25 am
Melissa
I understand where you are coming from. Blogging is supposed to be fun - check in and make a post when you are feeling up to it. I sure enjoyed seeing the progress of your vegetable garden.
Maybe you can find another way to write the way you are wanting too - I don’t doubt that you will find a way to make things work.
March 17, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Tiffany
I so understand having too many blogs to read in addition to keeping yours up to date. Lately I have been reading my favorite blogs but not commenting much due to reading while holding a baby!
March 18, 2008 at 7:18 am
Mary
I think it’s very easy to get burned out, especially when the line between work/research and recreation gets blurred. I’ve been feeling the burn out lately, too, and need to take some of your sage advice.
March 20, 2008 at 6:21 pm
melissaz
I’m a little late to this party, for just the reasons you are talking about. I like to blog, but sheesh it can take up a lot of time. And I understand about the obligation. It can get so overwhelming. Like right now, I have nothing to write about. And I feel this pressure to produce something because I’m just now getting readers and I don’t want to disappoint them. How messed up is that?