Otherwise entitled:

A Conversation With a Six-Year-Old-Boy (Who Lost His Tooth Today at School)

I’m confused, Mom. How did the world get started anyway?

Well, I said, taking a deep breath. There are some people who believe that God created the world. They also believe that the first people to live on Earth were Adam and Eve.

Is God dead?

God is more of a feeling, not an actual person.

Who is Jesus? Is Jesus dead?

Some believe that Jesus is the son of God and lived and died a long time ago. There are also some people who believe that the world began a long, long time ago (starting to lose him at this point - gotta make it interesting). You know, like when there were dinosaurs?  And did you know that some people think we are related to monkeys?

Jacob’s eyes grow very wide. I think I have to pee. (runs off)

Not sure where all that came from . . .

There are two questions Bridget asks on a daily basis:

Are we going to Wegmans? (the grocery store)

and

Are we going to Kansas?

Answering her first question is easy and requires a simple yes or no. Bridget is familiar enough with Wegmans that, even if we are not presently there, she can recall riding in the cart, watching the miniature train pass by the candy display, or peering into the lobster tank. Likewise, she can understand phrases such as, when the big kids come home from school or when you wake up in the morning to indicate when we’ll make a trip to the market.

Kansas, however, means nothing to Bridget, even though it’s a word she’s heard us speak of often in reference to our upcoming trip. She asks several times a day about Kansas, leading me to suspect that my standard answer, not until summer, just won’t do for a not-quite-three-year-old.

Unlike in the morning, the word summer is still too far in the future and encompasses a large passage of time; seasons are a concept Bridget, a young preschooler, doesn’t yet understand. I do have a few ideas on how I can facilitate her understanding of when we’ll embark on our trip, mainly marking down the days on a calendar (which would be beneficial to a certain six-year-old boy, as well).

How children come to understand time has always been fascinating to me. In relation to tantrums, I try to avoid phrases like later, in a minute, or in a little while, as they are vague and provide no clear understanding of when something will occur. Five minutes of my time may seem like a minute to me, but it can feel like an eternity to someone whose existence on this planet you can still measure in months.

Hmm . . . . what an interesting topic this would be for a Root and Sprout article (hint hint). If you care to tackle how to teach preschoolers the concept of time, please indicate your interest by leaving a comment on this post. I’ll take the first person who accepts the challenge.

Thanks to the reader (kept secret until the launch) who submitted a rather humerous and oh-so-true advertisement for a finder of lost items. Mothers and wives everywhere will relate to her post.

If you didn’t see my announcement from yesterday, there is a new category on Root and Sprout for product and media reviews. Media includes books, movies, music, and software.

I’m in need of articles for the Root category, which includes information of interest to moms and dads. What type of article would one find located in Root? Well, you might find an article on how to cope during your first overnight stay away from your child, ways to stay connected to your spouse, how to share domestic responsibilities, ways to manage stress, etc.

With summer break just around the corner, you might also find information on planning the perfect vacation, tips for summer safety, and ways to stay sane when the kids are home from school.

Just a thought . . .

You all are fantastic writers, so I know you’ll have no trouble coming up with and submitting an article. Remember, May 15th is the deadline for the 1st installment of Root and Sprout.

Click here for the guidelines.

Someone please tell me how it is already almost 2 o’clock in the afternoon when it feels like it should be late morning? So many items on the agenda. So little time.

You’ll be shocked to know I practiced yoga for an hour and ran on the treadmill for twenty minutes. Exercising is easy when there are no kids in the house to throw toys on the treadmill or climb on you as you attempt to balance on one leg.

My husband helped out at Bridget’s preschool this morning and looked totally wiped when he came home. But between you and me, he has a lot of fun while he’s there. They made apple pie and Mother’s Day crafts today, so it was a good thing he went instead of me. I like to be surprised.

***************

Jacob is on the verge of losing his second top tooth. Loose teeth, especially when they just hang there, make my stomach turn. While Jacob was brushing his teeth last night, his gum began to bleed. Being the supportive parents we are, Ian and I began to chant, Pull it out! Pull it out! Of course our chanting roused the curiosity of both Hannah and Bridget who had to crowd around Jacob to investigate. Seems the blood and hoopla was a bit too much for Jacob to handle, however, and he dissolved in tears. He’s not really fond of the site of his own blood, and the whole incident freaked him out a bit. That’s okay, Buddy. I know exactly how you feel.

There was a time, when I was not much older than Jacob, that a friend’s older sister chased me around the living room, pinned me to the floor, and brutally yanked out my loose tooth. The experience ranks right up there as one of the most traumatic events of my life!

****************

So I know what we’ll be doing this summer: learning about the United States of America. Hannah and Jacob were recently talking about their cousins, who live in Ireland. Perhaps you can do a study-abroad program when you are older, I suggested.

I know what foreign country I want to go to, said Hannah.

Where?

Florida!

Uh . . .

I suppose to an eight-year-old who lives in New York and who has no memories of having ever left the state, Florida may very well seem life a foreign country. Afterall, it’s a long ways away. She did redeem herself (thank goodness) when she said, Wait a minute! Florida’s not a foreign country. I meant to say France.

Whew! Nevertheless, our roadtrip to the Midwest will provide the perfect opportunity to expand their limited horizons.

*****************

A new reader made the suggestion that I include a section for product and book reviews on Root and Sprout. Well, of course!! Consider it done! Just like the other categories, please write a 250-800 word review on a product or book and send it to submissions@rootandsprout.com . Entries that I receive before May 15th will appear in the FIRST installment of Root and Sprout.

I just want to say that the new website is really starting to take shape, and I am very excited about the launch!! Thanks to everyone for all your hard work. Continue to send in your articles!!

Articles for Root

 and Sprout!!

There is STILL time to submit an article before the May 15th deadline. If you would like to be one of the FIRST people to have your article showcased on Root and Sprout, please read the submission guidelines. You can even submit more than ONE article ~ how cool is that?! The site is set to go live on June 1st, so mark your calendars!

“Here at Root and Sprout, we believe the connection between parent and child is what’s most important, and it’s a relationship that grows through mutual love and respect. With gentle, hands-on parenting, we can give our children the necessary roots to help them sprout.

Root and Sprout is a place for moms and dads to come for practical information, stories, and advice about being a parent and raising kids. You will also find helpful tips, family-friendly activities, and more . . . all submitted by people who support the Root and Sprout way of life. “ 

These are just a few of the most frequently asked questions or comments I’ve received:

• I just don’t know about what to write. You can write about anything as long as it is family-friendly. Root and Sprout is a fun, positive place to be. With summer coming up, seasonal articles are especially appreciated. You can write about summer camps for kids, tips for taking a family vacation, a recipe for your favorite homemade ice cream, how to make a kite, ways to fight summer boredom . . . the list is endless!!
• I would like to write an article, but I don’t have time, and I’m not a professional writer. You do not have to be a published writer to write for Root and Sprout, because it is a site written by moms and dads just like you. If you can write a blog post, you certainly have the time and talent to write for Root and Sprout.

********************

Put on your thinking cap and come up with a few great ideas. I know you can do it!! Root and Sprout needs YOU to succeed!

Yesterday’s post received a record number of click-throughs (not), so I appreciate the 4 out of 13 readers who read the post in its entirety only to discover a nugget of happpiness tucked in at the bottom. I’m a trickster like that.

I don’t know about you, but advertising that one can purchase advertising space on Root and Sprout is one of my least favorite aspects of being a website owner. I feel like I’m knocking on a door only to shove my palm in your face when you answer. My husband does this for a living, minus the knocking on the door part. I don’t envy him his job.

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Today is one of those miraculous weekend days when nothing pressing is on the agenda (except for cleaning the dungeon - ick). Trust me, those days are few and far between. It’s not often that I can lounge in bed until 7AM, sit on the couch for an hour to read the paper and drink coffee, and then write a blog post. Here it is, almost 8:40, and I’m beginning to feel like a sloth. Little tummies are growling, and a kitty needs his meds. But other than that, there’s nowhere to go and nothin’ to do except enjoy the day.

And get this, my husband proclaimed last night that the weekend is his time to cook. He said it in a way that implied I’ve been hogging the kitchen (snort). Um, well . . . here’s the spatula, honey. I won’t fight you for it! We received a promotional magazine in the mail yesterday with oodles of delicious-looking recipes, and my husband is feeling inspired. He’s already planning my Mother’s Day meal. It’s good to be me!

And just in case you need another reason why it’s good to be me, here’s a short story:

I was outside with my kids yesterday lounging in a chair while watching them play. The girls began to chant, We love mom! We love mom! At that point, Jacob comes running over to me and whispered in my ear, But I love you best of all . . .

I know. I have it rough.

Once again, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has contributed an article or posted about Root and Sprout on his or her own blog! I appreciate your continued support. There is still time to participate before the site goes live on June 1st. Follow the link for details. I need YOUR help to make the site a success!!

One crucial element to Root and Sprout’s success is funding. Yes, maintaing a website costs money. At this point, it’s not a huge investment; however, there are fees associated with owning a website. So where does the money come from? Advertising, of course!

There are a few ways in which to advertise with Root and Sprout. If you are a small business owner or entrepreneur whose site and product appeals to the Root and Sprout parent and kid, consider our affordable alternatives to pricey advertising fees.

**If you would like to be a corporate sponsor, please send an email to advertising@rootandsprout.com for fees and information. The prices quoted below are for small businesses and entrepreneurs only.**

Graphic and Text Link Ads

Purchase space for a graphic and text link ad that will lead customers to your business.

• $15 for three months
• $25 for six months
• $40 for nine months
• $55 for one year

For questions and site approval, email advertising@rootandsprout.com.

Written Endorsements

Why not let Root and Sprout tell the world about your site and products? A Root and Sprout staff writer will conduct an interview with you via email in order to gain a thorough understanding of you, your business, and products. Following the interview, the writer will piece together an engaging article promoting your site. Your written endorsement will stay on the Root and Sprout site for three months before moving to the archives. $30

For questions and site approval, email advertising@rootandsprout.com. 

As an example, this is what your endorsement might look like.

*Please note that I will no longer host the Support Entrepreneurs page or post endorsements on this site.*

If you would like to be one of the first to claim advertising space on Root and Sprout, please contact advertising@rootandsprout.com . *If you receive an error message when clicking on the email link, please open your email and type the address in the “TO” field.*

*******************

Now that the nitty-gritty details of advertising are out of the way, here’s a little video of Bridget doing something I really  wish I could still do! Now, this makes me a wee bit whoozy!

Instead of blogging about Root and Sprout  today, I wanted to follow-up on a comment that was left on yesterday’s post. A reader mentioned that she refuses to purchase CFL’s because they contain Mercury. This toxic substance is not to be taken lightly, so I can’t fault her for not buying into saving the planet one CFL at a time. CFL’s are considered hazardous waste and must be disposed of properly. You should never just toss them casually into the garbage can. Didn’t know that? You do now.

Read this interesting article on Snopes for more information on CFL’s or this one from Mother Earth News. Neither article dismisses the claim that Mercury is found in CFL’s or that it is a toxic element; however, each article aims to educate why CFL’s are still a better choice and how you can use and dispose of them correctly.

The reader also mentioned that organic food is not all it’s cracked up to be because it’s often shipped from far and wide and packaged in a lot of wasteful materials. And she’s right!! That’s why you should grow as much of your own food as you can and support your local vendors. The organic milk and eggs I purchase are produced here in Upstate New York. Aside from that, I really can’t afford to buy organic food during winter months. But when the weather turns nice, there is nary a speck of produce found in my grocery cart; it all comes from my own backyard, down the street (quite literally, from a stand), or from the Farmer’s Market. Oh, I did purchase a head of organic Boston lettuce the other day (also grown locally).

Cloth napkins. Well, this one might go either way with how much I may or may not be saving the environment. The reader questioned how eco-friendly this practice truly is, considering that you would have to wash the napkins in hot water to kill germs and bacteria. Okay, I’m going to admit something. I wash ALL my clothes in hot water. Wasteful? This germaphobe can’t do it any other way. I can’t stand the thought of washing pee-pee accident panties or a bloody-nose wash cloth in cold water. There’s just something about bodily fluids that gives me the heebie jeebies - sweat, urine, blood, ahem. Yeah. I *boil* our clothes, sheets, towels, everything. So for this family, who could otherwise go through a roll of paper towels in a day, using cloth napkins is still a wise choice and investment.

So now I am interested. Do you think that trying to go green and save the planet is more costly, time-consuming, or inconvenient than what it’s worth? If so, why?

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This is a repost from yesterday (if you didn’t get to read it):

For everyone who is working on a Root and Sprout project (whether it’s an article or *somethng else*), I’m going to need you to complete it by May 15th in order to be ready for the June 1st launch. If you would like to contribute, please read the submission guidelines. We have TONS of openings available, so please consider writing something. You do NOT need to be a professional writer to participate. I’ve received many comments and emails from people saying they would like to contribute but that they are just not much of a writer. I want to stress that Root and Sprout is a website for parents written by parents (or people who have experience working with children). If you can write a blog post, you can write an article for Root and Sprout! (Don’t forget that you get a byline and link to your blog or website)

If you truly do not wish to write an article but would like to help out in a minor way, would you please consider spreading the word about Root and Sprout on your blog? If so, you can link to this post. Thank you!

If you would like to be one of the first to claim an advertising space (not to be too forward), I’ll be providing the details tomorrow. Once Root and Sprout is officially open, I will no longer be advertising on this site (and the process of advertising will be a bit different and hopefully better).

PS - If you are unsure what a byline is, it’s a short description of the writer. For instance, my byline for an article I wrote about gardening with kids said something like, “Lis Garrett is an avid gardener and welcomes the help of her children. This year, they are attempting to grow a 40-lb cabbage.”

Yeah. We’ll be eating a lot of slaw!

Considering that I celebrate Earth Day in some small way each day, I don’t feel too badly about not giving it a formal acknowledgement yesterday. I meant to; but by the time I posted about Louie, worked, cleaned, commenced with various kid duties and played outside a bit, it was already late in the evening. In other words, I was too pooped to party! (my husband has been out of town since Sunday, so I’ve been 100% in charge - kudos to single parents everywhere!)

I’ve been thinking about some of the little things we do that add up to make a big difference:

• We’ve replaced all of our halogen lights with CFL’s.
• We use cloth bags at the grocery store and whenever we go shopping. (Have you noticed that Taget now sells their own canvas bags? Hooray for Target!)
• We use cloth napkins during meals.
• We dry our clothes on a line outside during warm weather. We also have a line in our laundry room.
• Every new appliance we purchase has the Energy Star label on it.
• We cut the grass out back using a push mower. (purchased at Home Depot for less than $75)
• We grow a good supply of fruits and vegetables each year and visit the Ithaca Farmer’s Market as much as possible. Incidentally, I came across a blog yesterday called Eggs On Sunday. This local blogger has some fabulous pictures of the Ithaca Farmer’s Market (not to mention some palate-pleasing recipes).
• We don’t turn on the lights unless we absolutely need to. We are fortunate that our house allows a lot of nice, natural light.
• We compost.
• We purchase as many organics as our budget allows.
• We don’t eat a lot of meat.
• We’re slowly replacing our 1950’s storm windows with new, energy-efficient windows.
• We recycle (almost forgot this one)

These are just a few things that come to mind right off. Our biggest embarrassment is our 1950’s furnace. We have got to replace that monster, considering it’s too inefficient to tell you just how inefficient it is. The darn thing is also costing us a small fortune in utilities each month. THANK GOODNESS it hasn’t run in over a week now. We’ve had the windows open instead ~ lovely!

For everyone who is working on a Root and Sprout project (whether it’s an article or *somethng else*), I’m going to need you to complete it by May 15th in order to be ready for the June 1st launch. If you would like to contribute, please read the submission guidelines. We have TONS of openings available, so please consider writing something. You do NOT need to be a professional writer to participate. I’ve received many comments and emails from people saying they would like to contribute but that they are just not much of a writer. I want to stress that Root and Sprout is a website for parents written by parents (or people who have experience working with children). If you can write a blog post, you can write an article for Root and Sprout! (Don’t forget that you get a byline and link to your blog or website)

If you truly do not wish to write an article but would like to help out in a minor way, would you please consider spreading the word about Root and Sprout on your blog? If so, you can link to this post. Thank you!

If you would like to be one of the first to claim an advertising space (not to be too forward), I’ll be providing the details tomorrow. Once Root and Sprout is officially open, I will no longer be advertising on this site (and the process of advertising will be a bit different and hopefully better).

(Sigh)

Bridget’s preschool teacher lives just down the road from us. She saw a coyote in her backyard over the weekend. Louie has definite puncture wounds, and they aren’t from another cat. My husband told me that when Louie came home on Sunday morning covered in mud, he flew up the back steps as if something was chasing him . . .

Thanks to everyone who has expressed concern. We won’t be letting Louie outside for the next few weeks. The ironic thing is, we had just purchased a harness and leash to prevent Louie from going out into the road. Looks like we’ll need it to prevent him from going back into the woods, too.

It can.

Remember how I was lamenting the cost of gas and groceries the other day? Never mind the fact that gas has risen $.06 since Saturday ($3.69), it’s those unexpected expenses that leave you curled on the floor in the fetal position clutching your wallet close to your chest.

Like, say for instance, your cat being attacked by an animal.

We let Louie outside yesterday morning before church, and he came back an hour later rather muddy (which was odd). We gave him a quick bath, and he sulked off to lick himself dry. When we came home from church, Louie was nowhere to be found.

My husband is out of town on business, so the kids and I, thinking that Louie had snuck outside, went looking for him. We called and called, but to no avail. Then we searched the house, as Louie is prone to hiding in small spaces. Still, no Louie.

The kids were worried, given that our last cat died prematurely when he was hit by a car. Hannah cried most of the day, and I did my best to console her.

At 10PM, I found Louie in a corner of my room looking rather unwell. I believe he must have been under my bed, although I’m not certain why I never thought to look in that one spot in the first place.

Louie has a heart murmur and was breathing heavily. He also yowled whenever I tried to touch him.

***********************

I just returned from the vet. Louie will be staying overnight for IV fluids and antibiotics. He also needs to have full-body x-rays to determine the extent of his injuries. Louie has a high fever, and the vet is concerned he may be septic. She discovered old wounds in addition to this new one, so she believes that even though Louie had been acting fine, an old wound probably became infected and spread. He also had a VERY full bladder, and she couldn’t get him to “go” just by squeezing it. She will catheterize Louie to make sure he is not blocked.

As the vet was telling me all of this, all I could hear was cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.

I had to leave a 50% deposit of $550 (thank you Bank of America credit card). The high estimate is $1200, but that doesn’t factor in the cost of surgery if it comes to that. Thankfully he is current on his rabies vaccine, otherwise we would have to quarantine him (major cha-ching).

I’m trying hard to stay positive. The last thing I want to have happen is for us to cancel our vacation because this unexpected expense has eaten up everything we’ve put away for the trip. I told a friend that I just need to get a little food in my body, change my attitude, and get back to work. I can’t do my job(s) and bring in any income if I am moping about. So!

You know what the worst part of all this is? I got mad at Louie on Saturday because he got into the garden and was about to use it as a litter box. I chased him out and said screamed a very unkind thing to him (too bad to repeat here and, the likes of which, made Hannah cry - very, very, bad of me).

And then this happens.

And the guilt is HUGE.

***********

Just heard from the vet. The x-rays show no internal injury. HOORAY!! Poor Louie is evidently in A LOT of pain, so he may or may not come home tomorrow. Bridget and I were playing in the sandbox.

Where’s Louie, I asked.

At the doctor’s office, she replied.

And then she added, I miss Louie . . . 

(so do I)

Gas is $3.57 a gallon here in Ithaca. When I began approximating the cost of making the trek to the Midwest this summer, I budgeted $3.50, never imagining that it could get any higher. My in-laws keep asking if we still plan to go, but deciding not to is just not an option. I haven’t seen most of my family in close to a decade, and I need to reconnect.

We think, with three kids, the drive from here to Wichita will take us three days. My kids, Bridget especially, do not do well in the car. Keep us in your thoughts. We entertained the cost of flying, but the price of tickets for five people, not to mention having to rent a van once we arrive, would be more than driving the journey ourselves. Luckily, my husband has amassed a few FREE nights at the Marriot with all the business traveling he has done. Nevertheless, I’m beginning to stress out about the cost of this trip. Next summer, we’ll be vacationing (hopefully) in Ireland. That’s what happens when you have family spread far and wide. I was really hoping to see my older sister and her three kids this summer, but unfortunate personal circumstances in her life have prohibited her from doing any traveling.

Anyway. I was reading in the paper this morning about how one of our local bakeries is feeling the pinch of rising gas prices. Their flour suppliers are now passing delivery costs down to them. While they used to be able to buy a 100-lb bag for $30, they’re now paying $60 or more. YIKES!

Each time I go to the grocery store, I get a huge knot in my stomach. Good food just costs so much money, and I’m not one to skimp on quality. When my husband and I were first married and trying to save money, we skimped. I remember talking to my mother on the phone one day, lamenting that cheap food tastes . . . cheap. She scolded me, of course, as mothers often do. Don’t ever sacrifice the quality of your food, she said. This advice was particularly appropriate, given that I was pregnant with Hannah at the time.

I’ve never been one to stock my fridge and pantry with artificial food (neon green and orange food colorings are just disgusting). I cook using fresh ingredients; it’s what I was brought up to do. But my goodness! When I stroll through the grocery store and see the price of staples versus a $1 personal-sized frozen pizza, it’s hard not to want to change my buying habits just to save a few dollars.

For a family of five, I easily spend $250 a week on groceries (and this is me being conservative with my wallet). Granted, not all of this is for food. Laundry soap, paper products, and toiletries cost a fortune, too. I buy what I consider the necessities and then ration it out.  

I’ve had to cut down on the amount of organics I buy. I still buy my store’s version of organic milk ($5.99 a gallon) because my kids drink so much of it. I’d prefer NOT to have to buy a bra or sanitary napkins for Hannah just yet because of all the growth hormones found in milk. Thank goodness we’ll have the garden this summer to provide us with most of our vegetables (and hooray for the orchard just around the corner).

I used to buy a magazine off the rack whenever I went to the store, and now such things are a luxury. A “splurge” is taking Hannah with me and buying her a cup of gelatto for $1.75.

Is anyone else feeling the strain as much as I am?

I took a gamble when I quit my contract job, but I still stand by my decision. I would not have been able to enjoy this week off with my kids had I been stuck at my desk for six hours a day researching and writing boring articles. I’m thankful for the job I have coming up, another contracted position which will require about 10 hours of my time per month and net me almost the same income as my last job (hooray for those who see fit to pay me what I’m worth).

Blah.

This was all on my mind this morning.

I’m going back outside to hang sheets on the line and work in the garden . . .

**************

Just went out to run an errand - $3.63 for gas and sunscreen is $10.99 a bottle (prices for sunscreen at the drugstore where I was at ranged from $8.99-$12.99). I imagine we’ll spend at least $50 in suncreen this summer easily.

When temps are 20-degrees above average and the kids are on Spring Break, it’s seems so wrong to be stuck inside blogging. I don’t start my new writing gig until May 1st, so I am not stressing out about work. My days this week have been filled with hanging clothes on the line, planting seeds indoors, getting the outside gardens ready for planting, playing with the kids (Jacob is home!!), doing Yoga, reading . . . and all sorts of fun leisurely stuff!

Monday will see me back to work on Root and Sprout. Thanks to everyone who has submitted an article or contacted me to let me know what you’ll be writing. I’m pushing for a June 1st launch date, so I’ll need your articles in the next few weeks so I can get them edited and posted in time. If you would like to submit an article, please follow the link and follow the submission guidelines.

Enjoy your Friday and, if I don’t blog for a few days, have a great weekend. It’s supposed to be 81 degrees here on Saturday, so I imagine I will be getting a nice workout outside. Woot!

I cried myself to sleep last night.

It all started yesterday morning when I walked into Jacob’s room to put away his little socks and superhero underwear, and I was struck by just how quiet the house is without him.

Hannah said to me, as Bridget was napping and we were lounging with books in hand, Isn’t this nice?

It sure is, I replied.

I like to imagine, with a bit of envy, that this is how it is most of the time for those parents who have just one child and who have since surpassed the demanding stages of infant and toddlerhood. Quiet. Relaxing. Little stress.

With one visiting Granny & Papa, one taking a nap, and one reading a book on the couch, I thought I was on vacation! For once, I didn’t have one kid or another asking me to fix a meal or break up a fight. I didn’t have to worry about who was flooding the bathroom or getting into the toolbox.

But for those of us who are used to constant noise and commotion, any amount of quiet is felt in a most acute way so that it’s almost painful.

When I spoke to Jacob on the phone last night, he said to me, I cried a little today.

Why, Buddy?

I just miss you so much.

He sounded homesick. He’s never stayed with Granny & Papa without Hannah, and even though I know they are spoiling him with attention, he misses his sisters and us.

I miss you, too, Buddy. You’ll be home tomorrow, so try not to be so sad.

Okay. I love you, Mommy . . .

So when I went to bed last night, my mind started to wander. As perverse as it sounds, I began to imagine what it must be like for those parents who have lost a child. You read about them every so often via one blog or another, and their accounts of loss just wrench your heart because you can almost feel their suffering.

Your throat closes, and you grit your teeth just trying to squelch the tears. Your body aches just to feel your child in your arms, to hold them as close to you as possible and breathe in their scent. You try to recall their voice and mannerisms as best you can, but it’s difficult.

Having a high-maintenance child is exhausting. You might assume that I relish the slow-paced life that comes with him being away for a few days.

Truth be told, though, I spend nearly every moment thinking about having him home.

I’m just lucky that mine will come home again.

And so it begins, the start of our growing season. As we wait for the weather to become reliably warm enough to transplant the seedlings to the soil, we spend our time prepping the gardens. It’s a job full of back-breaking work, I assure you. The enclosed area with the raised beds is much bigger than it looks in the photo, and it will house a blueberry bush, strawberries, two varieties of tomatoes, cucumbers, bush beans, peppers, carrots, and . . . I’m sure I’m forgetting something. (oh yes! the cabbage Hannah brought home from school which, we’re told, has the potential to grow to 40 pounds)

We’ve decided to reconfigure the deer fencing so that it extends around the garden in the foreground. For the last six years, I’ve not done much of anything with this patch of embarrassment. I’ve decided to turn it into an herb garden. The tree stump there will serve as a little seat in what I hope will be a tranquil stopping place. We have several flat stones that I will use to make a little walking path through the garden. There is an established bush (it’s difficult to see against all the winter brown) that blooms a gorgeous green with pink blossoms.

In another two months, this view will look a lot different . . .

I’ve sent Jacob to spend a few days and nights with his grandparents. I figured he could use a little one-on-one time with two of the most special people in his life. And, because Hannah has a friend sleeping over tomorrow night, I didn’t want to listen to two girls screaming because a pesky boy won’t leave them alone.

Hannah, Bridget, and I spent about an hour in the small garden overturning the dirt and pulling out the weeds. I need to purchase a pair of muck boots and, more importantly, another pair of gardening gloves. It’s not that I am opposed to getting a little dirt underneath my nails . . . 

I have an irrational fear of worms.

edited

Well heck. I meant to pluck a can of diet Coke from the fridge and grabbed a low-sodium V8 instead. I should add that I popped the top and took a swig without even looking at the label. When you’re expecting the cool, sweet, carbonated goodness of diet Coke and, instead, get a mouthful of pureed vegetable product, it’s a little disconcerting.

V8 is what I consider an acquired taste. It’s not bad, per se; however, I often have to chug the last half of the can and then bite the inside of my cheek so as not to vomit.

I’m really not sure why I drink the stuff at all.

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Thanks to everyone for getting those articles in!! It’s nice to wake up and have an inbox full of wonderful ideas. Keep them coming!!! This next week, I’ll begin letting you know what areas need to be filled.

Just in case you missed the announcement from yesterday, I am at a point in the development of Root and Sprout when I can begin accepting submissions. I realize I am asking you to take time away from your own blog to write a post for my new website, and I sincerely appreciate any effort made on your part. Really, I cannot do it on my own. If money is any incentive, there is an opportunity to get paid for writing the feature post. I would love to offer monetary compensation for all published articles, but I simply cannot (at this time).

If there is little interest and the articles don’t come in as quickly as I need them to once the site goes live, I may have to close down this blog. That’s not a threat or me acting desperate for submissions; it’s simply a fact. I feel very strongly in my new website and want it to succeed. If it means I have to close down this blog to devote more time to the website, I will (but I don’t want to).

I have a lot of exciting things planned for Root and Sprout, and I think you’ll find it a great place to hang out. If you have any interest in submitting an article please read the submission guidelines. Although I didn’t state this in yesterday’s post, I would like you to contact me at igarrett@twcny.rr.com with your article idea so I can plan accordingly.

As an incentive, the first person to submit a completed article (remember to follow the guidelines) will receive a NEW SHARK handheld steam cleaner. (US mailing address, please)

Again, I appreciate everyone’s help who chooses to write an article and spread the word. And my humble thanks goes to those individuals taking the time in helping me to get the website ready to launch. You’re all the best!

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I’ve had a few people ask what they should write about and the tone they should use. At this point, I’m looking for ANY type of article, as long as it falls within one of the categories or subcategories.

The tone - Because Root and Sprout is not a blog, I’m looking for articles that are conversational and friendly, but not overly personal. Think of it more as an online magazine. I’m hoping to publish the site June 1st (or around that time), so you have a little time to think about what you would like to write. And you may write more than one article.

(it’s spring break here and my kids are getting into the ice cream - at 8:20 AM - gotta run!)

Calling all moms and dads! I need your help. Head on over to my other site to see what’s going on!

I asked a person for feedback recently, someone for whom I’d written an endorsement. Although she liked what I had to say in the post, my words did nothing to drive traffic to her site. Needless to say, this makes me feel like a failure. I know, I know . . . don’t blame myself (not completely at least). I can only do my best to write a persuasive piece of marketing material. What the reader chooses to do, either click through or not click through, is his or her personal business.

I’m wondering, though, what types of sites are you likely to visit? What products are you more likely to buy based on another’s opinion? Do you shop more often for yourself or for your kids? What’s your price range on jewelry, clothes, and toys, etc?

One of the people for whom I had written an endorsement noticed an increase in traffic and sales. And then there’s the monthly bow contest that is doing well. So I know we’ve had success in the past.

Hmm . . . I’m stumped.

This has me concerned, because funding for Root and Sprout will, in part, come from endorsement posts and graphic/text ads. In other words, I need to find out what works and what doesn’t so I can make sure the person who pays for advertising feels like she’s getting her money’s worth (and I can afford Root and Sprout).

Thoughts?

Two very nice things have occurred to me in less than a 24-hour period.

I received a lovely bouquet of flowers yesterday. I couldn’t imagine who might be sending me flowers (my husband had just given me a bunch of wildflowers for no reason at all). It wasn’t my birthday. It wasn’t mothers day. For a split second, I thought the delivery man must have the wrong address.

Are you Melissa Garrett? asked the man with the flowers (for another split second, I thought this man might be someone trying to gain entrance into my home - I’m paranoid like that)

Indeed I am!

I tore into the card, curious about the sender. Well . . . the other day, a man contacted me on behalf of his wife. It seems she’s starting a new website and was hoping I might consider selling a domain I had registered ages ago, www.SewGreen.com . Sell it?

Heck no, I said. I will give it to you.

Now, I know there are plenty of sites out there called “Sew Green.” My husband suggested I should sell it for profit, but I’m just not that sort of person. I had no reason to hang onto the domain, and I was happy to transfer it over. So, they sent me flowers as a thank you! Nice!

The other nice thing to happen is this: Gary just delivered a few of these pencils with pottery animal toppers. Aren’t they just the best?! The funny thing is, Gary had emailed me earlier this morning letting me know that he would stop by Friday at 1:30. What he should have done is say “today” instead of “Friday.” Any SAHM will attest to the fact that we often can’t remember what day of the week it is. And considering my kids are home for spring break, I was seriously thinking today is Saturday. So, when Gary said “Friday at 1:30,” I thought he meant next Friday, the 18th.

So there I was, in a cathartic trance mopping my kitchen floor, when I began to hear a low rumbling sound. The dishwasher was running, so I wasn’t quite sure what I was hearing. It stopped. It started. It stopped. It started. And then it dawned on me that someone was rapping on my front door. And then I peeked around the corner and saw Gary!

You decided to come early, I said.

What? It’s 1:30. (these may or may not be his exact words)

And then I, mop in hand, grungy in bleach-stained sweats, scraggly hair, looking like death warmed over, stood there and tried to justify my mommy brain. A far-cry from my online persona, I assure you (or maybe it’s not)

Check your calendar, said Gary. Today is Friday.

Was that a hint of sarcasm I detected?

PS - Hop on over to Gary’s etsy store where he has a few things for sale.

It’s Spring Break, and the kids are home. Now normally I would be stressing out and suffering the occasional heart palpitation, worrying about trying to complete my contract work. But seeing as how there is no contract work to complete, I am feeling rather serene.

I havebeen working off and on, don’t get me wrong. There’s the new website and the book Hannah and I are writing. I did a little ASAP copy work for a soon-to-be-regular client. But even when I take on the client full time, the work won’t be as time-consuming as my last contract job.

So now there is time to do Yoga with the kids, plant our vegetable and flower seeds, sleep in until 7:00, putz around the house, go to the movies . . . the good stuff.

But I wouldn’t be me if I weren’t stressing about something. Yesterday when I wrote about my astonishment that Bridget will be three years old in less than three months, it suddenly occurred to me that we are leaving for our FIRST EVER family vacation (as a group of five) in less than three months as well.

Suddenly, I am feeling the need to clean house. I’m not talking about sweeping the floor and wiping counters, I’m talking about cleaning the house, as in organizing drawers and closets. I spent three hours yesterday cleaning out our file drawer. And then I came across our wills and healthcare proxies and went over those with a fine-tooth comb, making sure nothing had changed.

I have a perverse way of thinking sometimes; I’m a glass half empty sort of person. If something happens to us on vacation, the last thing I want is a bunch of family rummaging through a messy house trying to make sense of what we left behind. The same feeling overtook me just before my husband and I went to NYC for a few days back in 2005. Up until that point, we didn’t have a will in place. We had never left Hannah and Jacob before (we took 5-month old Bridget with us), and it prompted us to tie up a few loose ends. We could never decide on a guardian for the kids. I hope they don’t mind the thought of moving to Ireland.

We’re hoping to have my husband’s aunt and parents help take care of things while we’re away, as there will be a cat and newly-planted garden that needs tending to. For some reason, having an organized linen closet will make me feel a little better about leaving things. And I suppose I don’t want my MIL to see how really messy things are should she go searching for a flashlight or bottle of Tylenol!

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I am feeling a little devoid of things to blog about lately. I’ve been putting a lot of creative effort into other writing projects, there’s not much left over for the blog. Stick with me, please . . .

Sometimes I’m taken aback to think that Bridget will be three years old in less than three months. Less than three months, my baby will be three years old.

Born on the 5th of July.

And it happened quite suddenly, the transition from fragmented toddler-speak to talking in complete, complex sentences. It’s one of my favorite parts of having children: listening to their squeaky kid voices.

We were driving in the van yesterday when, after having stopped at a stop sign, I stepped on the gas pedal a little too hard, causing the vehicle to lurch forward (I’m not quite used to all the new-car nuances).

Mom! (drawn out in an exasperated tone of voice) You startled me!

Sorry, Bea. I didn’t mean to ”startle” you.

You’re not sorry. You did it on purpose, and that made me angry.

I probably shouldn’t have laughed, but I did.

What are you laughing at?

Nothing, Bea. Sometimes you just make me laugh.

Well, sometimes you make me angry.

And then, just to reiterate that she was “angry,” Bridget said, And this is so stupid.

(Yes, I have Hannah and Jacob to thank for teaching her “stupid.” Whereas I try my darndest to get her to say “silly,” she knows she can press my buttons by saying the “s word,” as the other two refer to it).

My husband said to me this morning, Have you noticed that Bridget has . . . (searching for the right word)

An attitude? I finish.

That would be it.

She’s a bit sarcastic, I added.

Huh, grunted my husband, looking pointedly in my direction.

Bridget can throw a person off her guard. She looks cute and sweet. People who don’t often see her still question whether or not she actually can speak. But then she opens her mouth, and you’d think you’re talking to a teenager.

My kids, all three of them, have the gift of gab. This is funny to me, because I could go all day with saying nary a word to anyone. My ramblings are more internal; I speak on paper. I’ve always been this way.

Just an observation. Nothing more.

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I just want to tell everyone how very excited I am getting about the new website. I’ve got a few blog friends helping me out with the details, and the project is really starting to take shape. I am finalizing the categories and sub-categories. Once that is complete, I will begin accepting submissions. Look for an announcement probably sometime this next week. I appreciate your continued input, and the success of this website depends largely on its users!!

I don’t have an estimated launch time. It’ll get done when it’s done, but I’m working hard on making it the best it can be. I know there will be many tweaks once it goes live and (hopefully) picks up momentum, so I’m trying NOT to stress about making it perfect from the get-go.

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Be sure to visit here next week, because I have a VERY exciting giveaway!!

There are days when there are too many thoughts running through your head. That’s when you have goulash.

We got a new van yesterday. A 2008 Honda Odyssey. Red. Very nice. Great deal. I was installing Bridget’s car seat when my neighbor came over for a chat, and that’s when it began . . . the guilt. You see, my neighbor and his wife live frugally. We aren’t exactly swimming in gold coins ourselves, but we budget so that we have what we need and a few things we want. There are times when we want for more, but we’ve never needed more.

We’ve been neighbors with this family for six years, and they’ve had their share of car woes. Whereas we have always leased new vehicles, turning them in every three years for a newer model, my neighbors buy their cars used. The problem is, their used cars are always in the shop and in need of repair. I can’t tell you how many times they’ve had a tow-truck in their driveway. Their cars are rusted and unreliable. I have to wonder, wouldn’t they be better off with a new car that comes with a warranty versus constantly hemorrhaging money on a hunk of junk? Are they really saving money?

So my neighbor says to me, Either you got a new van or you painted your old one.

Nope, it’s new.

We’re having problems with our van and are having to drive that (indicates the car over his shoulder).

What happened?

Carburetor died. The van is completely shot.

When I told my husband about this conversation, he asked, Are you sure he said ‘carburetor?’

Yeah. Why?

Well, that means their van is a lot older than I thought it was. (Wikipedia claims the last car made using a carburetor was the 1991 Ford Crown Victoria).

I feel guilty that we have a new van, and they have nothing but trouble with their vehicles.

I know what you mean.

But should we feel guilty? We’re actually paying less on this new vehicle than what we were on our last. And it’s not like we got leather interior or DVD installation. We’re pretty darn excited that the van moves forward and back and that we can afford the monthly payments.

I don’t know. Things like this just leave me feeling conflicted.

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I put our indoor cat outside today. He was putting holes in our screened door. The kids have been chasing him around the garden. Heh.

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The school psychologist is meeting with all the 3rd-grade girls to discuss bullying, gossip, and rumors. Yes, we are still dealing with that. Yes, I am tired of it. And I really don’t like my daughter’s teacher. I added her to the list at http://www.ratemyteachers.com. I also sent a detailed letter to the principal.

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Bridget is sick. Again. I thought breastfed babies weren’t supposed to get as many colds? Hannah and Jacob were nursed for a combined four months as opposed to Bridget’s 33 months (and counting), and they were rarely ill as infants and toddlers. Bridget seems to be sick all the time.

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Bridget slept until 2:50 AM (woot!) before coming into our bed last night (as which point my husband switched to her bed - he says the “night slurping” is really annoying).

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My husband and I watched American Gangster (hated it - fell asleep) and No Country For Old Men (loved it - want to read the book). My husband was getting tired of all the chick flicks on the Netflix queue, so I had to add a few manly movies (which I secretly enjoy). Next up is Atonement and Becoming Jane (woo hoo!)

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Don’t forget to enter into this month’s Very Sweet Bows contest.

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Has everyone forgotten about Bloggers For Locks Of Love? Does anyone want to participate? My hair (and Hannah’s) is getting L-O-N-G. I don’t know what to do with it anymore, and yet I am getting very attached to it. Cutting it will be difficult, but I will do it. I’m going to wait until the end of summer so that I can be left with a little hair when I cut off the ten inches.

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Bridget is up from her nap (still coughing). Nice day outside. Must go play . . .

I’ve been getting many great suggestions for my work-in-progress website, Root and Sprout, and I’m all ears! Let me begin by saying THANK YOU!! Keep the ideas coming.

I’d like to address some of the comments:

It sounds great! My suggestion would be for areas of special interest; single parents, children (or parents) w/ disabilities, children w/ allergies etc. Also, a “going green” section.

The overwhelming majority suggested a type of “going green” section. Yes, of course this was my intention all along; you’d think I would have included it on my original list. (cough, ahem) This is precisely why I’ll be asking for reader feedback - so you can point out the obvious! Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the details, I let the BIG things get away from me.

Huh? Root and Sprout? What does that mean?

You remember how I recently quit one of my contract jobs so I would have more time to pursue other options? Well, I’ve had this crazy notion flitting around in my head for the better part of a year, and the ideas are just now starting to congeal. While I had initially wanted to keep this project a secret from you, I realize I can’t because, well . . . I need your help.

Root and Sprout is the name of my new website (currently under construction). Visit http://www.RootandSprout.com , and you will get a nifty “Under Construction” notice. It’s likely to stay that way for the next few months while I feverishly iron out the details.

But what is Root and Sprout? In short, Root and Sprout signifies the strong connection between parent and child. Notice I didn’t say mother and child? No, Root and Sprout is a place for moms and dads to come for practical information, stories, and advice about being a parent and raising kids. Root and Sprout focuses on growing a family through gentle parenting and healthy living. The site is a happy, positive, and tranquil place to be.

And here’s one of the best parts! It’s YOU who gets to help make the site a wonderful place to be. I can’t write all the articles myself, because I neither have the time nor the experience. Yes, I have been a mom for nearly nine years, but there are those of you out there with FAR more experience than I and in different realms of parenting. (I will be contacting some of you specifically in the next few weeks)

I will write a post at a later date concerning what type of content I am looking for. Articles will go through a submission process, and each writer will receive a byline and link to his or her blog. (more details later)

What I am working on now is establishing categories and sub-categories. I figured it would behoove me to consult the people who will be visiting the website. Here are the preliminary categories:

• Moms (articles of interest to moms)
• Dad (articles of interest to dads)
• Kids (broken into subcategories by age)
• Activities (cooking, crafting, gardening)
• Advertise (this is what will fund the site - endorsement posts, text and graphic ads, a place where YOU can advertise your products and services)
• Submit An Article (everything you need to know about submitting an article)
• Parents Speak (forum)
• Archives (link to the Root and Sprout blog on WordPress, which will host the archived articles - articles will rotate out on a weekly to bi-weekly basis so that Root and Sprout has a constant supply of fresh info)

I would love to hear your suggestions for what YOU would like to find in a parenting website. We’re not talking about ideas for articles at this time, but rather categories and subcategories. Lance, you are my go-to daddy blogger. I need YOUR help, especially, getting other dads interested, particularly those who you think live by the Root and Sprout philosophy (practical advice about gentle, hands-on parenting ). Will you help a girl out?? Any other daddy bloggers out there who might be interested?

Leave your suggestions in the comments section. This post will stay in the forefront for a few days so no one misses it!

Woot! I’m excited - are you?!

Had I been of the male persuasion, it’s safe to assume certain reproductive appendages would have been sorely compromised this morning during playtime with Bridget. In an event that was almost too incredible to believe, I hurt myself . . . down there. And you must believe me when I say the pain was so intense I thought I was going to either faint or throw up. How did this happen, you ask?

Bridget had coerced me into her room to play with (ironically) her set of wooden balls. Sit down, she said, patting the ground. On my way down to the ground into what would have been a position like a hare on her haunches, I sat rather forcefully on the corner of Bridget’s kitchen door that had been left open wide. In other words, the corner of the door jammed into my pelvic bone. OUCH!

I now know what it means to see stars.

I ran out of Bridget’s room clutching my privies (just like a man) and flung myself on my bed where I commenced whining in a most pathetic way. Where’d you go, mommy? Come back here!

It’s okay Bridget (sob, sob, sob). Mommy just has a little boo-boo (sob, sob, sob).

So in case you happen to run into me today while we’re out and you’re wondering why I’m walking a little funny, now you know.

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There’s another NEW post today!! Scroll down . . .

Look what I won recently ~ a byKimLane handbag. Incidentally, I had also placed an order for a new Spring/Summer purse, and I received both in the mail yesterday. It was a good mail day! Thank you Kim ~ they are very lovely.

The reason why Kim was giving away a purse is because she was participating in a Pay-It-Forward giveaway and wanted to keep the kindness going on her own blog. Because I entered the contest and won, it’s now up to me to pay it forward.

I am offering one lucky reader a FREE endorsement post, a value of $30. Here are the details:

• you must be a small-business owner or entrepreneur (etsy, indie designers, online boutiques, independent websites) in need of a little inexpensive advertising,
• you will receive a post on this site, as well as www.LisGarrett.com . I will also place a graphic ad that links to your site on www.LisGarrett.com ,
• you must be willing to pay it forward if you win by creating a post similar to this and hosting your own giveaway,
• you have until Friday, April 11th (noon eastern) to enter this contest. I will contact the winner, and we will get started on the specifics of your endorsement!

If you are unfamiliar with my endorsement posts, here is an example of  the most recent one. Here’s what satisfied customers have to say. Good luck everyone!

Here it is, friends! This is the latest little pretty from Very Sweet Bows, and it needs a name before it can make its official debut on Fagan’s site. *You’re lucky to get a sneak preview here, the first Thursday of every month!* If you would like a chance to win this tre chic hairbow that will razzle-bedazzle your darling daughter’s hair, all you have to do is submit a name.

Put on your thinking cap and come up with the most descriptive and fitting name you can, then email your suggestion to Fagan at VerySweetBows@yahoo.com . You have until Wednesday, April 9th, at which point Fagan will choose a winner based on the name she likes best. Although you are welcome to flaunt your creative prowess in the comments section, you MUST email Fagan, as well, or your idea will be for nought.

The winner will receive this bow in the size of her (or his) choice: toddler 3.5″, medium 4.5″, or large 5.5″. Good luck!!

Almost by accident, Jennifer Way, owner of Beebee Mod, on online boutique that specializes in appliquéd onesies and creative gifts, launched her career. Little did she know that a hobby initially started as a way to earn a bit of extra money would garner her more than just a weekly wage, but a multitude of adoring fans, as well.

Like many women, Jennifer enjoys the creative outlet that sewing provides, and it was through Etsy that she first tested her creations. “I had a thought about starting a business and making something,” says Jennifer, “but I wasn’t sure about what I would make. Blankets seemed easier, and then I thought, why not onesies?” Jennifer began with simple appliquéd designs in November 2006, and soon discovered that her onesies were quickly gaining a reputation.

Jennifer is but one of many stay-at-home moms who has ever dreamed of working from home. “I was the type of person that could never be settled just staying at home and doing nothing on the side. I am so restless if I have no other focus besides my children, but I didn’t want to work outside the home.” As demand for Jennifer’s onesies increased, so did the complexity of her appliqués. However, all of her designs offer a feel that is clean and fresh, never ostentatious. Her goal is to “make kiddies a little more stylish with ideas that are functional.” 

Beebee Mod, aptly named for Jennifer’s daughter and her love of modern design, became a full-time business venture in February 2007, although Jennifer hosted the official launch of her new website on March 26, 2008. In addition to Beebee Mod, her appliquéd designs can be found in various brick and mortar specialty stores. Although Jennifer ultimately hopes to branch into children’s clothing design, she’s adamant about retaining a personal connection. “I want to stay small but have a steady customer base. I want my items to be special and not something everyone has. It would not give me any sort of pleasure to see my items in the mainstream stores.” 

When asked what makes a successful business, Jennifer says you have to focus on quality not quantity, because “it’s easy to spread yourself thin.” Likewise, she suggests starting out with a business plan, writing down goals, and figuring out what sets your product apart from others. 

Aside from sharing her own designs on her site, Jennifer offers products made exclusively for Beebee Mod. In other words, you can’t find these cuties anywhere else!

I personally love Beebee Mod designs and have purchased several items for Bridget, including the Sweet Flower Hoodie, Apple tee, and this adorable Tea Party design. Jennifer’s products are of exceptional quality and unlike any you will find mass-produced off the rack. From now until Friday, April 4th, receive a 25% discount on your purchase when you use the code wool25. Stock up, and enjoy!

You can also find Jennifer sharing her thoughts on her blog, www.BeebeeMod.blogspot.com.

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Congratulations to Pam for winning last week’s giveaway from PamperingBeki!!

Awhile ago, Stephanie of Books and Flowers sent a link to a feature article called Learning to Lie. Believe me when I say that this article put a lot into perspective, especially as it relates to my daughter’s recent encounters with the classroom/playground bully. The article is about five pages long, but it’s an interesting and insightful read.

It would be useless for me to try and articulate why kids lie when the article does such a thorough job of explaining it, but there were several passages that struck a nerve and had me bobbing my head in agreement. Consider the following excerpt:

By the time a child reaches school age, the reasons for lying become more complex. Avoiding punishment is still a primary catalyst for lying, but lying also becomes a way to increase a child’s power and sense of control—by manipulating friends with teasing, by bragging to assert status, and by learning he can fool his parents.

Thrown into elementary school, many kids begin lying to their peers as a coping mechanism, as a way to vent frustration or get attention. Any sudden spate of lying, or dramatic increase in lying, is a danger sign: Something has changed in that child’s life, in a way that troubles him. “Lying is a symptom—often of a bigger problem behavior,” explains Talwar. “It’s a strategy to keep themselves afloat.”

In longitudinal studies, a majority of 6-year-olds who frequently lie have it socialized out of them by age 7. But if lying has become a successful strategy for handling difficult social situations, a child will stick with it. About half of all kids do—and if they’re still lying a lot at 7, then it seems likely to continue for the rest of childhood. They’re hooked. 

Although Hannah has complained that the “bully” has not always been so mean and manipulative, she believes the lying and taunting has gotten worse just within the past few months. But why? As for Hannah’s lying, here’s the kicker: When she finally came to me and unloaded that she and her friend (and a few other girls, it turns out) were being harassed by the “bully,” the lying stopped abruptly. Likewise, it was my discussion with her about the emotional impact and breach of trust (as opposed to my yelling) that impressed upon her the significance of telling the truth.

Seriously, go read this article. Print it out and save it for study. These findings will change your perception of lying and will make you think twice about how you handle it . . .