I cried myself to sleep last night.
It all started yesterday morning when I walked into Jacob’s room to put away his little socks and superhero underwear, and I was struck by just how quiet the house is without him.
Hannah said to me, as Bridget was napping and we were lounging with books in hand, Isn’t this nice?
It sure is, I replied.
I like to imagine, with a bit of envy, that this is how it is most of the time for those parents who have just one child and who have since surpassed the demanding stages of infant and toddlerhood. Quiet. Relaxing. Little stress.
With one visiting Granny & Papa, one taking a nap, and one reading a book on the couch, I thought I was on vacation! For once, I didn’t have one kid or another asking me to fix a meal or break up a fight. I didn’t have to worry about who was flooding the bathroom or getting into the toolbox.
But for those of us who are used to constant noise and commotion, any amount of quiet is felt in a most acute way so that it’s almost painful.
When I spoke to Jacob on the phone last night, he said to me, I cried a little today.
Why, Buddy?
I just miss you so much.
He sounded homesick. He’s never stayed with Granny & Papa without Hannah, and even though I know they are spoiling him with attention, he misses his sisters and us.
I miss you, too, Buddy. You’ll be home tomorrow, so try not to be so sad.
Okay. I love you, Mommy . . .
So when I went to bed last night, my mind started to wander. As perverse as it sounds, I began to imagine what it must be like for those parents who have lost a child. You read about them every so often via one blog or another, and their accounts of loss just wrench your heart because you can almost feel their suffering.
Your throat closes, and you grit your teeth just trying to squelch the tears. Your body aches just to feel your child in your arms, to hold them as close to you as possible and breathe in their scent. You try to recall their voice and mannerisms as best you can, but it’s difficult.
Having a high-maintenance child is exhausting. You might assume that I relish the slow-paced life that comes with him being away for a few days.
Truth be told, though, I spend nearly every moment thinking about having him home.
I’m just lucky that mine will come home again.

11 comments
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April 17, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Debi
You know, that is one of those places that I can’t begin to go in my head. I just can’t. It’s utterly impossible for me to imagine.
Welcome home, Jacob!
April 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Corey
gee great….thanks for the lump in MY throat now. LOL I totally get you…..good post.
hope your boy is back home, and you are back to wishing you could have some peace. LOL
April 17, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Poopsy
I love reading the thoughts of mothers with such tenderness toward their children.
April 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Megan
I completely relate to that . . .
April 17, 2008 at 5:08 pm
April
It’s not at those kinds of moments that I think of that - the loss of a child. I think of that when they’re both asleep in their beds, and we’ve had a good day, and I’ve actually brought myself to tears just thinking about it! And then I have to stop.
My oldest daughter is going on a class field trip in June, and she’ll be gone for 3 days/2 nights. I’m actually more worried about how her little sister is going to do than about me! They’re so attached to each other, even if one of them goes to a party without the other, they hug each other like it’s been ages when they’re back together!
April 18, 2008 at 7:59 am
kristi
Now I wonder how I’m going to handle being gone from my daughter next weekend. I think I’m missing her already.
April 18, 2008 at 8:10 am
gary
what he said was mighty sweet
April 18, 2008 at 4:31 pm
PreSchool Mama
Now I am bawling…We only realize how important they are, when we’re away from them.
April 19, 2008 at 11:43 am
Kristen
I know exactly what you mean. As the at-home-mother of three young children, there are certainly times when I feel that I’m at the very end of my patience… then I remind myself that there are parents out there who would give EVERYTHING to hold their child for one more moment. My brother’s three children are teenagers and he’s counting down the time until they move out. My oldest is a teenager, and the other two are preschool-aged and I dread the day that ANY of them is ready to leave the nest. We ADORE our children… little monsters that they are.
-k
April 20, 2008 at 9:58 am
Mary
So sweet and sad!
April 20, 2008 at 11:39 am
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